My Heart Puzzle

Horses, they are all I can think about. I have to try and focus on the task at hand, for my mind is constantly spinning with thoughts of better training ideas, and other horse-related ideas.
A long time ago I had a horse, his name was Spike. He was the love of my life and my best friend. When I was sad, he was always willing to listen. When I was happy, he was still willing to listen to my storied on why it was such a great day.

But one day, I rode the bus home from school, and I saw my friend lying lifeless in the pasture. That tore my heart into a million jagged pieces that cut me when I tried to put them back together. My heart turned into a complicated puzzle, which over time, was slowly put back together. But like most puzzles, there was a missing piece. Over those few years, my love and obsession of horses became less and less. I didn’t completely shut them out of my life. Every once and a while my dad took me to his friend’s farm and I would ride there. I begged to get horse figurines for Christmas, and I read nearly every horse-related book I could get my hands on. I was always in awe of the cowboys and cowgirls in rodeos. But I wasn’t happy, there was something missing.

Then I had one of my horse-crazy friends stay overnight, that changed my life forever. She showed me how much better her life was since she had horses. She opened my eyes to what my heart truly yearned for. I came to realize the true values of my heart. My entire 6th grade year and the beginning of my 7th grade year consisted of working my ass off to prove to my parents that I was responsible enough to take care of a horse. I studied and studied, trying to learn all I could about riding and taking care of this wonderful creature. After that year of emotional torment, my prayers were answered. I had sacrificed so much to get Clarence. I gave up so many hobbies, I had to sell tons of my stuff to get money to buy horse stuff, not to mention the hours I spent. But now I know for sure, if was way more than worth it.
I found the missing piece: Horses!!! I don’t know how to explain it, my life just works. The only place I want to be, the only place where I feel I belong, is with horses. I feel unimaginably free, undisturbed, at peace with my raging thoughts, and above all happy!
Its just natural for me for love them. Before I experienced the magic that is horses, I had no idea where my life was going. I was in an emotional battle with not only myself, but with other as well. I was hated my many people for just being myself and I just wanted to give up on life. I felt like poop. You know, no one likes poop, but poop never did anything wrong to make people hate it. But now I know that life is truly a gift, every second is a miracle and I praise God for every breath he has given me.
Now I’m exactly where I want to be, with horses. Nothing will ever change how I feel. They are my reason for living. They are my only escape from this world of hatred, and jealously. I am at peace with myself and I know that I should pay no mind to those who hate me, for I also have people that love me. This is my life and I choose where I go. No one can improve me, no one can break me down. My life is forever changed, and I love it!!!
My heart puzzle in finally complete and I have healed from the wounds that the jagged pieces left. But there will always be scars to remind me of how close I was to my breaking point. My now I look back and see how stupid I was. So I look down on my heart puzzle and stare at the picture printed there: a horse.