Broken,Beaten,Bash my Face IN, Just Kill Me!

He said no. That he wouldn't be with me. that he's not that way and he doesn't want to leave his girlfriend. he just turned me down completely. How come i always fall for the sweet ones. the ones that lightin my day. the ones where nothing seems like it's going to crash and burn. Well to be honest i'm dieing right now. I want to crawl into a hole and die. I want to get lacerated 1,000,000 times over. I just want to find someone who loves me. i want to stop crying in the night when i know no one will comfort me. i wan to quit feeling like no one loves me. Wheres my happiness huh? wheres my night in shinning armor. Well let me tell you something. He or she isn't coming. He's never going to be there. Why because he doesn't want to find whats at the top of the tower. i want to die. i wan to stop feeling so weak. I want to get over him but i can't. I want him to want me but you know what he won't. He never will. i was stupid to feel this way. I was stupid to go chasin the rainbows when in reality there was nothing at the end of them. I was such a fool. I never listend to them. Now i'm sitting here faking a smile when all i wan to do is cry. I want someone to hold me and tell me it's ok. I want to move on and be strong but i know that will not happen as fast as i want it to.The worst part is he doesn't even know how much i love him. He knows i like him but he has no idea what i'm feeling right now. I've faking a smile all week long. i've been holding back tears all week long. I've trying to stay strong waiting for this moment. Now it's come and i'm not ready. I'll never be ready. Theres no doubt in my mind that i'll be ready.I'll never be ready. i won't be ready. Well now it's turned out that the day just got shoved in my face. Well time to close my heart for good. Time to give up al that makes me me. Well times up so happy life to all.