down in a cold dirty well and I cannot climb out

It's been far too long.

I feel icky inside, nothing ever feels good. Not in this reality anyway. I know that it could feel good, see I've had this new found experience. It's called ecstasy for a reason.

I've judged people, and it was wrong. I never stopped to ask what was going on in their lives. Why was it their escape route.

Now it's only been once, but I'm not going to say it won't ever happen again. I have said that, I promised my sister. Promises are often broken.

The worst part is knowing that it's hurting someone, or that soon it will be hurting someone. Disappointment will lay heavy on their hearts and heavy on their minds. Disappointment in me. Everything happens for a reason though, so I will accept it. All.