And now I'm hopeless just like them.

I've been having a hard time. I shouldn't be making a big deal though it sure isn't the first time. I just feel like my life is a lie and maybe it is. I don't even think I can look anyone straight in the eye anymore. I just-I'm not me anymore. I feel like my anger towards my parents and my drive for perfection to please them and make myself feel like something is driving me to be someone I don't want to be. I hate who I am. I hate that no one seems to notice that I'm not as strong as everyone thinks. I wish someone could see past my anger and wise ass remarks to see that I'm hurting, real bad. And the only one that actually cared about what I had to say is gone. Thomas isn't here to push me into telling him how I feel. He isn't here to make me tell him how I feel. I have no one. My friends don't care. And my closest friend doesn't give a damn. Her world revolves around herself. My mom doesn't care either because she has BIGGER problems and I obviously don't fall into that category. Usually I'm, well, met with anger. Sometimes I'm scared I'll end up like my mom. She needed to be saved so bad that walked right into hell. She married my dad. My dad and my mom don't love eachother that much is apparent. Sometimes I wish that hey weren't together because they just make this house that much gloomier. I don't think my dad loves us either. We're second in his life, if even. When he doesn't watch his words he practically tells us we're mistakes. My mom well she just wants to go back into time, what does that say? I'm just a little frustrated with life. I'm not doing to good in school either. I just-ugh! I don't know.