After comeing home from this great Army football game, (seriously, I love football, I wish they had a team for girls, I would so dominate, lol) I run into Corey, Dave, and Jesse - three severally entertaining and perverted guys. They had these poppers and smoke bombs and were going to set them off. I decided that it would probably be very amusing to watch, so I followed them…bad move!
We get to Corey and Jesse’s garage and hang out for about half an hour. One thing I found out was that a group of guys can get very boring. They just sat there half the time talking about how bored they were. WTF?!?!?! Jesse set off the poppers on his pumpkin. He was amused by how many dents the streamers made when popping onto the poor vegetable. It was interesting to see how all three guys were enthralled by it. I just shook my head.
Corey and Jesse’s mom wouldn’t let them have matches to light the bombs and Dave couldn’t find his lighter, so we decided to go bother Ben. Turns out, Ben was at Steven’s house, so we were stuck. Then, Dave decided to tell us that he had matches…moron! We go to his house and he tries calling his mom. He’s Mormon, so he had to get permission before using them. He couldn’t get a hold of her, so we start heading up to the woods anyway. The guys had to be home by 6:30 for dinner, and it was six by the time we got the matches. We figured that it would be best to set them off in the woods so that no one would notice. It’s illegal to have an open fire on West Point and we really didn’t want to get arrested…well, I didn’t anyway. Once again, Dave was acting like a moron and grabbed a shoebox to set the bombs off on. Corey kicked the box away saying: “A rock is less flammable than a shoebox, you idiot.” It was pretty funny.
Now, the area that we decided to go to was blocked off by a tall, green, chain-linked fence. There was a ten foot cement drop into a creek on the other side and was rather dangerous, thus it being blocked off. Like any other typical group of guys, they decided it would be the perfect place to go. I wanted to leave but they called me back. I should have left, because what happened next was horrible.
We snuck our way through the fence door - which idiotically wasn’t locked. Corey climbed down the cement wall and into the river while the rest of us walked along the ledge and jumped into the forest. It was already getting dark. We slowly worked our way deeper into the forest. We came across a creek and guess who slipped in? Me! It was freezing. The guys all laughed. I did not find it one bit funny. We finally made it far enough into the forest where no one would notice we were setting off smoke bombs. Dave finally contacts his mom and guess what she says? No to using matches! I just about died after going through all that hassle just to not be able to do anything. Corey then asks if he can borrow a match. Once again, Dave has to get permissions. He asked, “Mom, can Corey borrow a match for unsaid purposes?” It was funny, but she said no. And since Dave is a perfect Mormon boy, he listened to his mother and put away the matches. Since Jesse was the youngest, we voted him to be the one to sneak into his house and steal a lighter.
It was 6:20 now, and we were pressed for time. We really wanted to do this. Jesse ran off and I was left alone with Corey and Dave. Dave’s not too bad. He’s a pretty decent guy, but Corey is just crazy. He started “stripping” and threw his hoodie on me, the loser. We waited for ten minutes talking about tattoos and how Corey’s parents were going to ground him when he got back. He went off in this weird demonstration, most his words coming out like this: “Then they’re going to go all ahhhhhhh on me and then I’ll be like aggggggggg and then I’ll tear the wall down like agggggggggggggg and then I’ll splatter it red ahhhhhhhhhhhhh and take a myspace picture in blood ahhhhhhhhhhhh and my parents will kill me aggggggggggggggg.” Seriously, that must be some form of boy language because Dave followed every word…err, sound.
6:30 rolled around and Jesse hadn’t come back yet. By now, it was completely dark. We decided we’d just go back and do the bombs some other day. We tried going back the way we came but we got lost. It was funny because Corey was like, “My eyes adjusted to the darkness”, and then he ran into a branch. It was beyond hilarious. The funniness soon ended the moment we realized we were lost. We thought we had made it back until we reached a cliff looking thing. It was too high to jump from so we tried reworking our steps. We decided to walk to the other side of the woods, but got lost again. We all were stumbling over loose rocks and getting caught in thorny bushes. We kept running into trees and tripping over stumps. Dave led us and the fence eventually came into sight. The only problem was, we had to cross a rather steep ditch. The way down was covered in wet leaves and loose rocks. Dave slipped and I almost did. Corey then took the lead. At the bottom was a thin, shallow creek. Corey didn’t know where to step so Dave and I pulled out our cell phones. They made it across. I was like, “Screw it”, and just stepped into the water to get across. I was already wet from falling in before…
The other side up was covered in thorns. Corey found that out by falling while trying to climb up. Dave made it up and Corey scrambled after him. I was already so cold and pissed off that I crawled on my hands and feet up the steep, thorny ledge, trying to ignore the pain. We reach the fence and Dave jumps over. A car suddenly drives by and Corey and I duck. Remember, we weren’t supposed to be on that side. There was a fence for a reason…
Corey then scales over. Guess who gets stuck? Me! Boy, did I get thrown the short straw. My shoes were so wet and slippery that I couldn’t get a good hold on the fence. I’m also not exactly the skinniest girl around, so I had trouble pulling myself up. Dave said he would run along the fence to see if it eventually stopped, while Corey jumped back over to see if he could help me. I thought it was absolutely sweet of them both to try and help me. At the moment, though, I was entirely pissed off and started out a line of swear words that probably got me banned from Heaven. I swore the Hell out, especially at Corey. I kinda feel bad, now. He looked at Dave and stated, “Next time we’re not bringing a chick into the woods with us unless she’s naked.” Way to make me feel better, Corey.
Anyway, Dave returns and he tells us that it only gets worse along the fence. Corey jumps back over after not being able to help me. There I am, stuck on the forest, bear infested side of the fence while Dave and Corey were free to leave, but they didn’t, which I think it completely admirable. Dave took a hold of my cell phone, money, and ipod, while they told me to hold onto the fence and follow it along the direction we first entered from, meanwhile, they were walking along side me on the other side of the fence. Again, I thought it was sweet of them to not leave me alone in the dark.
Suddenly, the ground cuts off and the fence juts in over the ten foot cement drop into the raging water. I flip out because I still can’t climb over the fence and I had nowhere to go. Corey runs ahead a bit and tells me that there’s s thin ledge I can walk across. I freak out because I hear so many stories about kids falling into water and drowning, not to mention it was pitch black out. Corey walks along side me as I cling to the fence for dear life and shakily walk along the cement ledge. I made the mistake of looking down. It was horrifying.
Thankfully, the ledge widens and I race across the rest of it. I jump a few feet down into the forest and reach the fence gate. I run out, completely relieved. I give Dave and Corey a huge hug because I was entirely grateful for them not leaving my side. I kept apologizing because I felt terrible. This whole thing took twenty minutes and now they were probably going to be in trouble. Dave gave me back my stuff and we all ran to our own homes.
When I got back home, my parents were talking in the garage. They took one look at me and knew something had happened. I had leaves and twigs in my hair and my pants were covered in thorns. I told them what happened and they didn’t get mad, which surprised me. They were just glad I was okay. I went upstairs and took a nice long shower.
Now, I’m in my pajamas, eating leftover lasagna, sipping a Diet Orange Sunkist, and waiting for Trish to call me over for a much needed movie night. Ugg, what a day!!!
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