Something is knacking

I don't even know if I used/spelled that word right.

Something is wrong. Again.

I know I haven't posted in a really long time, but things are beginning to repeat itself in my pathetic life.

Let's sum up my life right now:
name: Krista
grade: freshman
town: still boring sparta.
friends: totally different
-to elaborate a bit, I'm with more of the smarter/theatrical people now. I've branched my friends a lot since...last year, and things are okay.
-can I trust them with everything I've been through?
-how will they take it?
-do I want to tell them?
relationship status: taken, been taken for almost five months.
-I'm happy, is he?
-Am I ACTUALLY happy?
-why do I worry so much?
-do I tell him everything?
-how do I want to act when I'm around him?
ugh so many questions
school:
hard
hard
hard
hard
but manageable I guess..

Anyway, it's that time again of November.
The last two weeks have sort of sucked for me, because it's been reminding me of things that happened last year, things I don't want to remember.

One of those things being my depression.

Right now, last year, I was clinically depressed.

And I'm so fucking scared that's going to happen again.

Oddly enough I've also adapted to something again that happened to me two years ago:

MCR obsession

(It came back after finally reading the book in the special edition Black Parade case I got for my birthday last year. But thats another story)

So I really don't know where I stand right now.

At the moment I feel sad, messed up, and I don't know why.
Like I REALLY don't know why. I wish I did.
And I'm 90% sure it's about my relationship.
But why am I telling myself this?
I don't know.

I'm literally confusing myself.

But really, why am I writing this? It's really not like any of you know what's happening to me. No one really knows how someone else feels, unless the situation is identical. Which most-likely in my case, would never be the same.

So why bother posting this? I'm not sure, but I guess it's worth a shot.
Thanks for reading.

- k

p.s; I miss you, my friend. but that's nothing new.