wherever my keyboard takes my thoughts. or is that the other way around?

Wherever my keyboard takes me...

With all the modern media, i get confused about my role in my relationship with my boyfriend. Does he want me to be a crazy carefree daredevil? Does he want me to be a quiet, calm, housetrained girl who can take care of the family? Does he want me to be the untouchable, mysterious, faraway girl who is a focused winner? Does he want me to be the fighter or the lover, do i protect him or does he protect me, have i been too forward when i asked for a hug?
Modern ways and old old values are conflicting inside me and i just don't know what to be sometimes.
His goal is to grow up, get married, have kids. When he told me that, all i could see is that he's looking forward to his death. I want to wander, hand in hand with someone that will never take my heart and soul merely to break it. I want to buy a homeless woman a meal in the fanciest restaurant i can find. i want to DO things, not just get married and have kids. whoop-de-do, really.
There's no such thing as free will. Our choices are governed by our circumstances, surroundings, and the people around us.
So can't i choose to be a little different than the ever-popular american dream? Really, i want to do something much different with my life.
But i love him. So can i change my mind for him, make a sacrifice? Or will i choose my own path?
I wonder.