I've gotten rid of the people from my life that seemed to be the inflicters of my late night rambles. (Though some extracted themselves from my life on their own.)
Mainly my ex-boyfriend that I had this over and over, back and fourth, unhealthy relationship with. It started with one of his friends liking me and vice versa. He flipped and said he didn't want to talk to me anymore and I guess that's where everything started.
I'm finally becoming me again; the girl that doesn't let small things get her down. The girl that isn't bothered by boys because they just aren't that important. The girl that lets everyone else care more than herself so she is only half as susceptible to being hurt.
Though I'm not sure that is completely a good thing.
At first I was REALLY upset about the whole situation with my ex, but I've slowly adjusted and grown from it.
That friend of his that 'liked' me turned out to be waste of time seeming as he doesn't seem to give me the time of day now.
Maybe he was the start of it all.
I still don't understand it. And I'm not so sure I want to.
All I know is I'm happy now, for the moment.
I guess this is growing up.
Or maybe it's just building a defense system for myself.
Either way it's working out right now.
Can you feel the desperation in this moment? Something must change either way but even then the question still arises 'will it then be okay?'
