Fire!

Whenever I have a lighter in my pocket, I always have the almost irresistible urge to flick it.

Obviously, I never do because I’m still here and not a walking ball of flames. Still, I find myself constantly fiddling with it, twisting and flipping it between my fingers, questions running through my head. Would the spark catch my pocket? Would it go up in flames? Would it just singe and sputter out?

Damn my inquisitive mind.

I’ve started writing again this week, finally. It’s like finding that little trinket you’ve been looking for, the one that’s been buried in a box in the back of the closet, all lonely and forgotten. I’ve pulled it out and blown off the dust, but it shocks me a bit to find that it’s not as easy to do as I remember. I’m not in the same place I was and keep second-guessing myself. But that’s life, isn’t it?

Today was a good day, a really good day, mostly. I was determined to make the best of things because, well, it’s not getting me anywhere being all mopey and sad. And it worked – at least until about 2:30 when that Rolling Stones song came on. It doesn’t even matter which one; they all have about the same effect on me. Instant downer. At least it's good for story fodder. Add that to my Bright Eyes and Radiohead mental playlist. It’s no wonder I’m down.

They say whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’m pretty sure I’m bulletproof.