What is this?

Okay. I'm just going to go on and on randomly, let off some steam.
If you read past this, your amazing.
But yes, you've been warned.

I don't know what this feeling is...It's coiling in the pit of my stomach and its unpleasant. It worries me.

I'm constantly worried about my love life. Am I unlovable? One person has loved me in my entire fourteen years of life. I pushed him away.
I've thought I was in love a few times. Lost them both. I'm worried that its happening again.

I'm worried about my friends for reasons I don't know. My best friend is doubting herself and I hate it.
Although I'm doubting myself too...

My ex boyfriend is in love with my best friend...and he won't even tell me, he thinks he has to lie. I'm not an idiot.
And did he think she wouldn't tell me?
I'm upset and I want to talk to him, but I can't...

Somethings missing in my life and I can't figure out what it is.
What is this?

If you miracurously read through this entire journal, please leave a comment.