This is the end.

Whoa.

I can't believe it. It's already over.

As most of my friends and readers probably know, I auditioned for the Joffrey Ballet this year, and made it into the Nutcracker as a party girl. I've spent the last three months rehearsing my ass off, and it's all over.

The party, basically, is done.

Now begins the real work.

The mistress is coming in next week to go over some things with us. I'm guaranteed to be moved to a different role because of my height. Usually, I'm considered small, but for the party scene, I'm too big. I was only let in because of my skill, and the fact that the ladies auditioning us remembered me from last year (I was a soldier; basically the whole time, I had to march and make sure I wasn't standing in front of the cannon when it went off.)

I'm really nervous. This is my first year dancing with the Joffrey (some girls had danced with them several times before) and my first year being lifted by a company member. I thought I'd be fine, but this weekend really opened my eyes as to how unprepared we are.

Some people still aren't counting. It frustrates everyone else, because we have to take our precious time to re-do the scene over and over again. Some people forgot what they were supposed to do when. Others are forgetting the corrects they had already been given.

Me, on the other hand...

I wasn't so bad, not until this weekend. I rarely got yelled at, and paid attention.

The girls standing next to me are both under 5 feet. I'm the tallest, at 5 feet and a half at audition time. I filled in the extra half, and I'd say I gained a pound or two. Doesn't seem so bad, but we'll see when the costume fitting comes around next Tuesday.

Anyway, it never occurred to me that my height would throw off my technique. We have to do pas de basques (a simple dance step) to two equal lines splitting center. Because I'm taller, I can jump higher and move farther than the other two girls. It ends up throwing off the whole line. So I have to take "baby steps" instead of my regular steps.

God. I'm bitching and moaning about a small matter. I guess I'm just nervous. Last year, I wasn't so nervous, but not everyone was couting on me. I have a lot of complicated stuff and acting to do.

So I won't be on much for a while, not until Nutcracker clears up. I've made some great friends and learned many new things. I hope to be back on that stage again, dancing for the Joffrey.

(Only maybe next year I'll make it into a scene with more older kids.)