...I'm so far from where you are

I feel so alone.

For a long time, writing was my everything. The feedback that I get means absolutely everything to me, because for once I've found a talent that's been hidden inside of me for years. I've finally found something that I'm good at [well, fairly decent at], and it really has become this form of therapy for me.

Now... I feel that passion starting to dwindle. Not because of laziness, but because of outside forces that are interfering with my writing schedule. Recently I've moved in with my boyfriend, and having to admit what my guiltiest pleasure is to him was by far one of the most awkward things I've ever had to do.

Here's a sample of how the conversation went one night when I didn't click out of mibba fast enough:

"What's that?"

"Honestly? Do you really want to know?

"Yes."

"It's gay fanfiction."

... boyfriend goes in to the other room and leaves me alone.
So yes, it was awkward.

Unfortunately, having him looking over my shoulder is very distracting, and combined with work that makes writing a very strenuous task. I find myself itching to write, but I simply can't because I'm being distracted by him, or I'm not in an environment where I'm able to.

And what's worse, is I feel so alone. The girls that I cling to, that are my muses and my inspiration to write are so far away from me. For the first time ever I realize the distance from us, and it's very disheartening. I would talk to them on a daily basis, but unfortunately, everyone is leaving, or growing up, or like me, simply too busy to devote the same amount of time that we used to devote to each other.

I miss the good ol' days of 5AM conversations.
I miss my friends.
I miss my free time to write.
I miss everything.

My apologies, I'm just in a rather apathetic mood at the moment and this is really beginning to take its toll on me. I am homesick; and when I say homesick, I don't mean from my mother's house. I mean from my alone time, my mibba time, my msn time.

*sigh*