sucky day

ok. so this week has sucked. well it hasn't really sucked until the last two days.
well first of all yesterday nov 26 was the one year anniversary since my dad left us. while i'm glad i don't have to live with him anymore, it's still hard. even though i don't love (or even like) him, he was still my dad. and i want to have a father i can look up to. i am so jealous of my friend's daughter-father relationships. i wish i had that person to interrogate the guys that ask me out (even though there aren't many). i feel like thats part of the dating experience, and i'm never going to get to take part in it.
anyway, my mother had to go to mediation with my father on tuesday. she won't tell me how it went, however she did tell my 11 year old sister that he had to know our phone numbers and emails, but we don't have to live with him. with is fine, i just won't answer my phone or respond to his emails. i don't think he'll try and talk to me, he doesn't care that much, but just incase he does, i'm prepared.

Yesterday i got out of school at 1, so my friends and i went to go see twilight. i don't really have an opinion on it. it was nothing like the book, but it was still a good movie.
When i got home, i immediately fell asleep on my couch. i don't know if you know this or not, but i'm living at my grandma's house. well i fell asleep and when i woke up (at like 11), my grandma was really sick. she was running a fever and my mom was on the phone with the doctor talking about if they should go to the hospital. They decided they should, so they called an ambulance and took her to the hospital. She's still in intensive care. Basically what happened is that since she's going through radiation her blood pressure was really low. Plus since she usually has high blood pressure she was on medication to lower the blood pressure. they are working to get it back up, and she seems to be doing fine now. but she's still in the hospital and i have had the most untraditional thanksgiving of my life.
its literally just my little sister and i in my grandmother's house on our laptops. its actually kinda pathetic. My thanksgiving dinner was mcdonalds. its really sad.

i fell really alone right now. its stupid cause i have so many people there for me right now, but i can't help but feel awful. and i'm pissed off at myself for feeling so bad for myself, but i can't get over it. my life sucks right now. i guess i just have to be grateful for everything i do have. at least i'm not homeless or pregnant.