While I've got your attention...

..I. NEED. HELP.

I'm basically breaking every male stereotype as I type this, so let me begin by saying

"This is one leap for man, one "its about time" canyon jump for mankind"

Since this is a predominantly female website and I'm under an assumed identity, I'm more than comfortable asking for help here, ESPECIALLY since this is the kind of thing women are stereotyped to be good at. For once, I hope its a true stereotype..

First off, I'm not a guy to fall in "love" easily. Not even close. In fact, I've had a grand total of one girlfriend over the course of my life, but I've only had crushes so...Think of me as a Hugh Grant character without the accent/chin/HUGE head and with blond hair and more socially awkward. This WILL help.

Right.

I am pretty much completely smitten with a girl I know (Who is on this site I might add) to the point where she could curse me out, smack me and throw me into the dirt and I would STILL feel the same way I do now about her. Its pretty strange, given that we knew each other for a total of about four months before I moved. I actually asked her out without prodding (Big step) from my friends or hers. Much to my dismay, however, I never got a response until I was far away (Reason: Didnt know me enough. I agree), and to make things worse, our mutual friends wouldnt stop teasing us about it. I have always hoped that there WAS something about that, something I didnt know, but I dont think I ever will now.

We've talked a lot over the last year, to the point where we're each others confidante, so we know quite a bit about the other. I fell in -cough- love with her after we had talked for quite a while. At some point, she told me she'd have feelings for me if I was still in Houston and that still means something to me. But quite recently, she was being ripped up by her feelings for a friend of hers to the point where she was crying daily. I told that bastard (I had hated him for quite a while before this) that she desperately needed to talk to him about her feelings and that if he cared, he'd ask her to tell him.

He did. During this time, I was ripping myself up about this, and a part of me secretly hoping he wouldnt return her feelings. I know its selfish and I really do want her to be happy, even if its at the cost of my own, but I couldnt help think this anyways. But he didnt return her feelings, and as relieved as I was, I felt like shit for doing that. Ruining her happiness or even that faint glint of hope she had was horrible, but I thought it'd help...I message her daily to see how shes holding up, but I'm lucky enough to get a response every few days now..

Anyways, I feel shes become more distant, not really wanting to speak with me (Wont tell me to my face if she is) and as though I'm being phased out of her life. She didnt tell me she was going to see her family in GA, which I suppose doesnt mean anything, but a portion of me sees this as...well, as a lack of trust or something along those darker depths. I mean, its up here (On mibbo), but she didnt want to tell me...A part of me wants to reason this out as maybe she was just tired or forgot, but she didnt even bother telling me even though she had a full day....

Whats wrong with me? Am I that horrible or psycho to where she just doesnt even bother talking to me? Just saying something to keep up appearances? How do fix what I've wrecked? Or have I wrecked it? How do I stop myself? Cant SOMEONE help me?