Hallelujah.

ok. so basically everyone and their mother knows how much i love paramore. and if you don't? well, just ask one of my friends and they will tell you that paramore is my favorite band (well, along with about five other bands and artists) and i sing them incessantly. if i'm not singing them, i have them stuck in my head. i could tell you all of the reasons i love paramore, but i won't bore you with those details... anyways. lately, i've been covering a lot of paramore with my acoustic guitar. i thought to myself the other day (well, yesterday, but the other day sounded cooler.). i'll learn hallelujah. so i sat and listened to it for a while. got some other opinions on how to play it. and set about writing my own arrangement. (is that e supposed to be in that word? i don't know.) i finished the arrangement quickly, taught it to myself, memorized it and then left for band practice, with a stop at the music store on main before band. i bought new guitar strings and a tuner, conversed with my old friend jason, and went to band. we banged through our set quickly and then went our separate ways.

i have a friend that i make listen to everything i play because she's brutally honest and won't hesitate to tell me when i suck. so i played my new songs that i wrote, and then started on hallelujah. about halfway through hallelujah, i started to really open my eyes to the lyrics. it's like they just hit me. then and there. i don't know why the lyrics decided to hit me at that moment. but they did. i finished the song, went and played our bands set, and then left to go sit in the hallway of the venue for a while during the lesson. i needed quiet to sift through the thoughts in my head. and as cliche as it sounds, i think that hallelujah really describes my life at the moment.

it rained again a bit yesterday. i say again because of the fact that, well, it was the second day in a row and frankly, i love it. it makes some people feel miserable and people hate running around in it but honestly, i love the rain. sometimes, it does have its depressing connotations, sure. it seems like all the bad memories have something to do with the rain and it's more frequent than not, too. however. i guess it's the smell associated with it that makes me miss it. it's when the flowers know it's coming and the air takes on that moist feeling and just the way you can inhale and know that a rain is on it's way. maybe i'm better tuned to notice it because of where i grew up. the midwest has this distinct smell after it rains. i love the midwest in that aspect.

and then today, it snowed. i think life is going pretty good, beyond some of the things mentioned. most of the time i'm either off with my friends, or researching modern slavery. i worry that it won't amount to anything. i just find myself worrying too much at times. sometimes i'm bored with life in general. not to the point that i'm about to od on sleeping pills, but i need something to spice it up once in a while. i mean watching leah stumbling through her words and katie laughing hysterically is always interesting, but really, i can't spend the rest of my life doing that sort of thing. and i know what i want to do with my life. it's just irritating that i can't get to it faster, sometimes.