If Found, Please Return

I lost my cool tonight. I don't exactly know where I was storing it, but I definalty misplaced it momentarily this evening. Well, technically last night, considering it's almost five in the morning here, but I'm up to go for a run.

So, here's the deal: Saturday night, fabulous night at work, all my favorite people are working, it's busy, money is being paid, drinks are being poured, and there was a disco medley played at some point in the night. I mean, my life was on the very top of it's game at this point.

So, I'm mixing drinks for some stupid order (I mean, you're at a club and you're sloshed, why must you be so ambiguous with your drink choices? Have a beer, screw a London Fog w/ two olives. This is not the plaza.) Anywho, so I'm returning to my section when I see a man that was known as one of my high school teachers for three years. It doesn't matter that I graduated already, teachers are teachers, that stigma cannot be erased.

"Michelle, I hardly recognize you in your uniform." He says, which is kind of perverted considering what are uniform is, but the club caters to 18 - 23, so it's strange that he's even there, but I assume it was for a younger friend or something. So, i'm pleasent and say hello and he orders a drink. A Molsen, to be exact. He asked me if I'm in school and I said No, but I am moving away for a job pretty soon and I was just about to go on to tell him about some of the successful things I had been up to and ask him about his life, and he says:

"Well, you were always one of those students we thought was adorable, but didn't expect to see changing the world." He nudges me playfully like i'm supposed to laugh theatrically, but then it happened....my cool jumped out from where it was and shot through my throat like a bat out of hell.

"Is that why you're here at this night club, Mr. ______? I wonder if Obama knows that grinding up against the crotch of an eighteen year old is how to change the world." And like that's not enough, I purposely served him three warm beers. And warm beer is gross.

He tipped like you think a math teacher would tip, too.