What You Want Is What You Got

So many nights I've cried. So many nights I've spent wondering. So many nights I've wasted.

These are the products of your departure. Your escape. You left me wounded, confused, still young in this world. You never seemed to care about who was getting hurt. You never seemed to care that all my dreams were getting crushed, torn apart.

I never thought I could hurt this much. Tis mortal pain, truly. Tis mortal blood, mortal tears, mortal suffering. Yes tis also immortal. Immortal longing, immortal confusion, immortal wondering, immortal flow of blood, like ink on paper. Tis as no one could think.

One thin red line, and it comes pouring from the marred skin. One solitary tear, and it comes pouring from the broken soul. One single beat, and it comes pouring from the crushed heart. One wavering breath, and it comes pouring from the halted lungs. One trembling word, and it comes pouring from the suppressed cords. One small sound, and it comes pouring from the black inside. One short ray of light, and it comes pouring from the dark abyss. One alien action of love, and it comes pouring from the violent core.

So many years I've spent searching. So many years I've spent blaming myself. So many years I was wrong. Only one person is responsible for this. Tis not me, my friends, my family, anyone. . . but you.

You had a coice: leave or stay. You had a choice to watch me grow. You had a choice to save me from this pain, this suffering. Yet you chose to leave. You chose to walk out on the one person who ever did believe in you, although I was young, inexperienced, innocent. You chose to force me to experience unneccessary tears, blood, heartbreak.

You had a choice, and you made you decision. But it must always be you [u[final decision. For you cannot change the past.

Just remember:

You did this to me. You inflicted this upon me. . .

Dad