Hmm...What to do?

I know that this journal isn't really going to be worthwhile. But I seriously needed someplace to write. I HAVE to write when I am not feeling particularly great. Its just my thing. It helps me feel better. If anyone has advice that'd be great but no one has to read this just so everyone who clicks on this knows now.

Ok, earlier I posted a poem. Its about me. Just to get the obvious out into the open. Right now I am feeling soo broken, I couldn't even tell you just how fucking terrible I feel right now. I feel like my boyfriend of two and a half years is cheating on me. But not only do I have no proof in the matter but its just seems so obvious that he is. And thats what makes me feel worse.

Like, a couple days ago. We were talking about the future. But not in a good way. Ok? My mom and dad are seperating in the process of getting divorced right now so, I really need him right now. But he's never there. So yeah I have a feeling that hes cheating like deep in my gut. I just don't know what to do about it because I know thats what its got to be because I know that it can't be anything else...unless he was gay, but I'd know because my gaydar doesn't go off, but you never know.

Any advice would be most helpful. By the way just so everyone knows this, I have never cheated on him so its not a vicious cycle going back and forth ok? I have stuck by him even though as far as I know he hasn't been faithful alot. So someone please give me some kind of advice. Anything.