i'm sorry

It’s been five years and it's finally starting to show, and you're really happy doing it. I really don't know what to think. I'll go weeks without seeing you, so I never do. Until I see your arms, your bones, then I think it all over again. You told me your brain is wrong, I told you your brain is perfect. From one addict to another, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you baby. You’re perfect and completely not normal (no one is normal remember darling). I love you. I am horribly attached to people too easily, and I am horribly attached to you. But with your way of living, I am trying to get unattached. I hate you I hate you I hate you. I think one day you're going to stab me in the back in the worst possible way. You’re going to betray me and make me be the one to do it. I’m going to have to do it and you'll just keep pouring the poison in until it fills us both up. You’re doing the worst thing any friend can do. Steal my money. Fuck the boy I want to marry. For fuck's sake, do anything you wish but don't be the one who's going to make me. You’re doing it right now aren't you

I’m tired too y'know. Just like you're tired of people telling you to stop, I’m tired of telling you to stop. To the point where I wish she'd walk in and tell me what you did and it's time to plan. Horrible isn’t it. I want you dead or happy. Shame it can't be separate but together.