Of Friendship and Death

After sitting through school today, listening to the hive of Mount Carmel Area all abuzz with this fresh new story, a lot of things are on my mind. Mostly just people. People that had no respect for him, people that wanted nothing to do with him on any ordinary day, running their mouths and making it all harder on the ones who really were by his side, and really were hurt right down to the core. People that went out of their way just to try and make him feel like less of a person, even though he would just smile and happily agree with whatever they tossed at him. People that don't deserve to sit there and say, 'Yeah, I knew him.'

I'm not trying to say that they weren't affected, because when something like this happens, it ripples out into a wave that just encompasses everyone. His friends, his family especially, our teachers, our staff, our parents. It's okay to be sad, if not expected. But to lie through your teeth and say you were his friend, to act like you knew him so well...I won't put up with that. For the people that knew nothing about him, the people that had the most insignificant attachment to him...do you think you're helping when you're chatting it up with your friends, saying things like, 'Oh yeah, I heard he went through the windshield,' or, 'Yeah, they had to identify him by his shoes'? Do us all a favor and just stop. The only thing you're spreading with your rumors is more hurt for the lucky few that were actually close to him, that can stand up proudly and say that he personally made a difference in their life.

He was probably one of the most influential kids I've ever known. He knew he was going places, he wasn't going to sit in the Coal Region for the rest of his life, slamming down beer after beer and living off of ramen noodles and potato chips. No one can deny that he always did his best and gave his all at everything he did. He had a future so bright, it would blind half of the pathetic wastes that walk the halls of our school. Writing this now makes me realize how many times I've actually compared myself to him. I'd copy a Trig assignment from him every now and then, but after that last problem I'd always look back and think, 'Gee, he did it himself, why can't I?' I'd make sure I did the next few on my own, even if I really didn't want to. Yeah, it was just something small, but that's just it. His hard work and perseverance could give anyone the motivation to finish whatever they needed to get done. He never had any idea just how many people he inspired on a day to day basis, just by staying so positive about every little thing. He could be having the worst day ever, and if you walked into class and said hello, he'd flash his big, wide grin that just drove right into your soul. His happiness was infectious, and always sincere. He never had a reason to fake a smile just to make it through the day, he took whatever life threw at him. He dodged what he could, and everything else just got shrugged off.

Something like this will never truly do him justice. There's no way to take his personality and accomplishments and put them into words. All of his little quirks, though extremely weird and, for the most part, not easily understood, made him who he was. Who he is. Who he'll always be. I can't think of anyone else that can make someone laugh and lighten up the mood like he can. And really, what other guy around here would willingly dress up in girl pants and a red leather jacket to be Michael Jackson for the Homecoming float? Actually, float aside, what guy around here would do that period? He had more weird comments and hilarious outbursts than you can shake a stick at. If I wanted to write down every great moment I've ever had with him, I'd literally have to jot down every second I've ever spent in his presence. There truly never was a dull moment with him, ever.

I know missing him hurts, and letting him go will hurt even more. But I can guarantee that right now he's sitting up in Heaven. Wearing, of course, his trademark Polska shirt, he's looking down on us with that heartwarming smile. He'd want us to remember him fondly, but he'd also want us to move on and care about each and every person he left behind. It's not wrong to look back at all of the good times we had, but it definitely is wrong to let things like this hold us back from our future. Even if he never got to fulfill his earthly dreams and wishes, he wouldn't want us to slack off and stop thinking about the things that are important to us, right here and right now. Eventually we'll have to let him go, but he'll always be alive in our hearts. Not as just a memory, but as a friend. The true embodiment of what a friend should be.

In memory of Robert Sowa, gone but most certainly never forgotten.

'God broke our hearts to prove to us that he takes only the best.'