Is this honestly my life ?

Yes I know. Very emo tagline. I think I have the right to be though, I mean I was jumped last night. The guy that broke up with me, turns out my so called friend who asked me if 'I was ok' told him what I said and a bunch of him and his mates beat me. He raped me. Fucking hell man, as if I ain't got enough problems as it is. I mean during the summer, my other boyfriend beat me so bad and hurt me so much, I tried killing myself. I kept cutting my legs, back and arms until eventually they found me, lying on the floor unconsious with an empty bottle of whiskey and an empty packet of painkillers.
I had to get my stumoch pumped and a blood transfusion. Good thing I have commoners blood. I've been in a lot of bad relationships and this wasn't the worst one.
I was 12 years old, new to the high school. First year. I had 3 best friends who were older than me by 4 years and never went to school. Mike, John and Frank. John was a drug dealer, Frank was just... Frank. I couldn't describe him back then but now I can. Mike was my best friend though. Always there for me when i came home crying, covered in bruises from the bullies. Always took me somewhere at the weekend away from everything else. He was my rock. Then he moved house. Frank left to move to new Zealand and John ? I never saw or heard from him again.
This is how I lost my virginity. This is how I got invovled in drugs. This is how I got raped. This is how I died at the tender age of 12.
I spent a lot of time with Frank and eventually I "Fell in love" with him. Oh dear God I was wrong. At first it was nice, kisses, hugs, flowers. Then after about 2 weeks, he changed. He became violent. It finally got to the point where he would touch me. Until finally, one night, he raped me and this went on for 3 months. When he left for New Zealand. I was 13 when he left. I didn't know what to do. That was the worst relationship until I saved his life. Thats how I was made into his sex slave and punchbag. Oh how I wish I hadn't saved his goddamn life. It was dark and he had just finnished using me. I went downstairs only to find him with a bread knife ready to kill myself. I don't know why I did it, even to this day. I took the knife from him and wrapped my arms round him as he cried. And then he smiled at me. And I knew. He was fucking kidding.
I guess thats about it. After Dale died, I was never happy with any other man. Yes we were fucking young. I was 9 and so was he.
You can fall in love at any age