Holiday plans. Everyone has them. Sadly, whilst everyone else is boarding planes, leaving little dotted lines behind them to various colored dots on a map, I'm stuck getting dragged to church and half-baked holiday concerts. I'm stuck in the stupid desert again for Christmas. Not that it's ever been different, so I don't know why I'm complaining about it now.
Church was different this year because we unwittingly dragged ourselves (or rather, I dragged myself) to the kiddie service instead of the actual proper one. Consequently, we had to sit through a puppet show in addition to the regulation carol singing. The puppet show was actually oddly entertaining in the vaguest possible manner. I would say 'interesting', but I hate using that word that way.
It's been a while since I last sincerely believed in God, but the service wasn't uncomfortable or fake like I thought it would seem to me. Actually, I'm sort of proud of myself. I sang all the carols, I sat there and listened to the minister talking about Jesus and his love, and I was at peace with it. I felt comfortably separated from all of it, and it didn't feel like an infringement on my personal beliefs. Maybe you think it's an odd reason to be proud. Whatever.
As for the holiday concert, we had a choice between going to this fancy classical-composer themed one or the normal pops one, and I wanted the first one because then I could've at least fooled myself into thinking that I was a sophisticated and cultured person. But no, I was forced into the latter. If you'll remember, I said I live in the desert. As a consequence, there will always be at least something holiday-themed that's given a 'Southwestern twist'. And this year, it was another few selected pieces from the 'Southwestern' Nutcracker, and the 'Jalapeno' Chorus.
Well, A) I've been in the Nutcracker before, three times (yes I was a ballerina!), and nothing beats the classic; and B) Mendelssohn or whoever composed the Hallelujah Chorus would fucking turn in his grave if he found out how badly they butchered his song.
Really, the Nutcracker isn't a terribly good story, seeing as how it has one of the most cliche endings ever (she wakes up and finds out it was all a dream), but at least the dancing and the costumes and stuff are fun to see. For me, anyway, seeing as how I'm starting to regret ever quitting ballet. But - chili peppers? native americans? tumbleweeds? rattlesnakes?. No. Just, no. Why can't those people just leave it alone and realize that all other versions of the Nutcracker can just piss off to the original?
And things became very surreal when the choir started belting out -
Jaaa-lapeno! Jaaa-lapeno! Jalapeno! Jalapeno! Ja-laa-pe-noooo!
Ehhhhn-chilada! Ehhhn-chilada! etc.
Oh, get me a taaa-co. (and the hot sauce! and the hot sauce!) etc.
I have nothing notable more to say on the subject.
I don't like the desert. I feel like I don't belong here even though I've spent virtually my entire existence in this place. I want to go somewhere colder, somewhere where it actually snows and the leaves actually change color. Maine's always sounded nice; the Northeast in general sounds nice. New York and such. Somewhere in California. Or somewhere rainy. Washington state? I've never really felt like I belonged much to anywhere or anything.
Maybe going somewhere else will improve my mood for a change. During the holiday season, while everyone else dons Santa hats and munches on candy canes, I stay in bed. I've never really liked the holiday season; there's just something behind it that's very sad. I can think of a million reasons why I don't like this time of year, but at the same time, I can't think of a single reason at all. And New Year's scares me a bit, to be honest.
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