My brother.

Okay so, I've been thinking about this for a while, been worried for a while now, and I thought I should get this out.

My brother isn't like anybody. Sort of. He isn't really that... normal. I'm not sure if it is autism, my parents wouldn't tell me exactly, they say it's just a mild developmental delay.

But even if so, I couldn't stop worrying. About him, his future, everything.

I know I shouldn't think about this too much, because God is in control of everything, but I can't help it, I don't have any choice but to deal with this everyday.

When my parents aren't around, I usually go to him and just talk to him, the usual... he won't respond. I know that. I do so, anyways, then I tell him things like, "Talk to us soon, baby, okay?"

I still call him "baby" because he won't talk. But he's already six, and I've seen a lot of children around 2-4 years old that let out a few words already. He can't.

I'm scared. I don't want him to stay like that. I will do everything just to get him out of that situation, but I don't know how.

Every now and then, I couldn't stop myself from crying.

When I get stubborn and careless about myself and my health, I just think about him, knowing that the day will come and he would have to depend on me. I have to be strong for him. And no matter how weak I feel at times, I deny it even to myself thinking I have a brother who will depend on me in the future.

I don't want him to stay like that just because I don't want him to depend on me. My arms are always wide open for him. But no one knows what might happen in the future.

Time will come and someday my parents couldn't be there for him anymore.

At least for me, I think I can be strong. But what about him? Can he be strong with... just me? Will he be strong having someone else to depend on?

My parents and I live on the optimistic side, (or I think I am), we've put him in a full-time therapy, taught him a lot of things everyday.

He's really good actually :o He can recite the alphabet onwards and backwards D: he can read, write, he's good at drawing, he plays his keyboard when he hears me playing my piano. XD He doesn't ask for help about almost anything :| he tries to do everything himself. Like, one time, everyone was wondering what his little box contained (we were on our way to church), and when we tried to look inside, we saw that he had prepared a little snack for himself. He did it himself.

We call him... "the survivor". :))

He doesn't ask for water or food, he gets them himself.

Anyway, I really should stop worrying, right? It's Christmas Eve, for goodness' sake. And I will just make sure I keep myself safe always, even just for him and the other people around me. I will just make a promise that I will always be there for him, no matter what happens.

I remember promising him to buy him his very first car once he gets his license :D
Haha.

Okay, I'll leave it here. Merry Christmas everyone ^_^