My Sister..

Heather and I have not always been on good terms..

When I was younger, I yearned to be just like her. Copying her every move, eating the foods she ate, dressing like her, even talking like her.

She hated it, and let me know that. But still, I adored her.

She's seven years older than me, but she sometimes forgets that. She's said that she feels bad that I grew up before I needed to because of her..that she kept me from being a kid because of our age difference (me trying to be older like her, and me also bringing out a younger side of her).

And yet, though we love eachother so, we fight. Often. Usually about nothing big, but when we do..it's bad.

She has issues with restraint. I have issues with anger. We both have issues with the truth.

She makes me want to rebel against everything good, everything I know is right and safe, and follow my instincts, my whims..

This is both good, and bad.
When I'm mad, I want to go out and do things I know will not please my mother, and don't care that they won't. When I'm happy she makes me feel like I *can* be my own person, that I *can* forge my own path.

I'm also constantly reminded that we are more alike than I like to admit. Same face, same eyes, same (original) hair color, same smile, same body type.. But also the same history with food (stuggles, more like), same thrill of the chase, same desire to be chased, same ease with lying..

So now, after years of trying to be like her, I've realized that doing so won't make me happy. It will only make me feel worse inside, only make me faker. So I *am* forging my own path.. I *am* becoming..me. It's beyond liberating. I'm beginning to trust myself, and like myself. Hopefully, you will too :)

** Please comment.. It's such a drag when you don't .. :( **