*** Me. I Screw Everything Over.

If you even read these things.
I have been better.
I just recently had a friend tell me that he was going to reach alcoholic status and eventually drink himself to death.
I'm still kind of shaky over that.
i knew he was doing drugs and drinking but I didn't know to what extent and now I'm really worried.
I want to know if he will actually do that even tho he knows that I'm here for him and that someone really does care about and love him.

Another thing with him is a girl that I'm really starting to hate again is claiming that she's going out with him after we broke up.
Is it truly jealousy?
What do you think?
I mean I want to slaughter her.
I want to hate her until I can't stand her at all.
I want to be able to ignore her.
But can that happen with me?
Fuck no it can't.
and I want it to happen.

My next question is why the hell do I hate her guts?
I can't even answer that fucking question myself.
And it's really bugging me.

I fucked up our friendship now I think.
Fuck.
I want to know if I even did fuck it up.

Ugh.
Sometimes I really hate myself cause of the shit I do.

Okay, so this was supposed to be a simple blog but it didn't turn out that way.
Oh well.

Much love,
Spencer :P