Alone

I don't care if you think I'm a loser or a freak. I really don't. This new years eve I was all alone. My parents went out with some friends and my bro went to a friends. I was lifted alone. I said ya sure go I'm cool with it go! But on the inside I was so sad. Why didn't I tell them? I don't know maybe I like to be alone? I do like to be lifted alone, but sometimes this emo girl needs some love. I know I should of told them or called a friend but I'm a little scared. I know why? Because I'm scared okay! I mean I feel like hitting myself! I feel sorry for myself. I mean I broke like the sweetest guy in the worlds heart and too top it all off my friends liked him. I mean D liked him. D doesn't really get along with guys, but she got along with him. I mean she even told me to do things with him and shuff. So was Tibby they covered for me when I was hidding in the washroom like a winp. They rock and I still couldn't call them and say 'hey, want to hang out?' I'm so lame! Rawr! I know my friends are going to be reading this. I just know. So I'm going to say hey to them and get on with my hallow life. My mom went out with my grandma a few days ago and I was home alone again. When she got home she totally flipped. She started yelling at me for not doing the dishs when I haded eaten all day and when she wanted the compter I gave it to her. She asked way I didn't keep the internet on and I said that it shuts off when you logg out. She asked why she just couldn't go on my user and I said it's because I had stuff on there that was mine and mine alone. She flipped and said I should smarten up and go to my room. I did and was cursing her out the whole night. I mean I know it's hard for her to see that I'm not her little girl in pink anymore and never will be, but she doesn't have be all 'OH MY GOD an emo freak ate my baby!' I mean I'm still the happy-go-lucky girl I was at home. I haven't changed in personality well not alot anyway. She doesn't even see that I feel all so alone around this place I'm suppose to call home.