About 5840 Days In

If you read this, please read the bottom paragraph before judging me. This is not every day and I don't want to be perceived as a slut.

so I need to post something about new years.
It's detailed because I have to get it off my chest, because I can't really talk to my friends about it right now as we're .. distanced.

So my close group of girl friends was trying to figure out how to do something together, but we couldn't find a location. So finally someone decides we'll go to 1234, this club downtown.
Redheads are 2% of the population.. what are the chances I can get an 18 year old with red hairs id for new years? uh slim to none.
so I immediately said I wouldn't be able to go, and I thought since the plan was to be all together they would change plans.. what a ridiculous thought though, because everyone else was all for it.

So then my best friend started off saying we're for sure us two hanging for new years, so of course I was all for it. But then she has an id so she didn't give a second thought to me... who had now been ditched by ALL her friends.. thanks guys?

So fast forward to the night of, I was going with ashley and kate to kates boyfriends hotel party.. so we thought we would stay for like 30 minutes so she could hang out with her boyfriend or something. After we were supposed to cab to some house party to celebrate and crash.

So we get on the bus to go to the hotel, and don't I go FLYING through the bus, and land with my head under a seat, sprawled on the floor with a dead knee. I already have messed up knees from rugby, now I;m in ripped tights going to some unknown party.

So we get to the hotel, and turns out I knew a couple kids there. There was like.. maybe 20 of us shoved in a regular sized double bed room. You could smell the smoke and weed from down the hall. So my old best friend who graduated a while back and I hadn't really seen since then was puking blood in the bathroom for hours.. and then he was talking about heroin.. And the preppy party I thought I was going to turned out to be all the ska and rave kids I knew.

So I was pretty drunk already, and then Kates boyfriend turns out to be like... super awkward and lame with her and barely says two words. So somehow, I'm in some fort making out with this guy for actually hours..
and then Kate tells me she's leaving to go to her cousins party. And I wanted to go, but she was waiting for me to hook up with the guy all night, so she insisted I stay with the guy and Ashley.
So I gave her all my money so she could cab.
And then I ended up in the hotel lobby, making out on a couch.
At least he was nice though, like he was all intense but then all cuddly and kissy.
So we go back to the hotel room, cause the guy didn't want to take advantage of me (way to score the one guy at the party with a conscious).
And my old best friend who now loves heroin (you will never know how much that hurts me) was sober and chatting with me.
So after intense hooking up with this guy, he was lying on the bed with his head right near mine like whispering to me and being all cute and shit, but I was so surprised to be talking to a sober ex best friend that I actually turned my back to him and barely heard a thing he said.
So then the guy sat on the floor beside me and was like leaning on me and being cuddly,
and I was too tired to really realize how rude I must have been because I persisted in talking to my old best friend and actually had my back turned to the guy.

So he left to go home, and I ended up going to bed at 7 because I talked to my old best friend for that long. I slept on the hotel floor, with a sheet beside a glass door frozen over in ice, laying on cigarette butts. We slept for an hour and a half before having to clean the hotel room and leaving.

So the thing about this awful story is that this is not how I am.. I am usually too busy mothering sick kids at parties to even hook up with anybody, let alone hook up with a guy for hours.. And not to sound vain but I'm usually very very nice to everybody, and like talking to anybody who says anything but I totally ignored the guy.. And I'm not a slut, I'm not into that. I don't smoke cigarettes but I reeked of them. And I strongly disapprove of hard drugs, like anything past weed I detest, which is why I'm surprised I talked with my ex best friend so much..
This night better not have been a glimpse into this year... because no thanks, I'll pass.
Hope your new years celebrations were a huge step up from mine.