The Daily Mail

I have decided that I am now cynical enough to write for the daily mail. Shocker I know. They're a British paper notorious for being cycnical old men. I am slowly becoming one of them.

Living in Britain is doing me no good right now, its so depressing I think I should kill myself before the credit crunch, carbon bloom, global warming, a heat wave, obesity, knife crime, heart attack, fireworks and religion kill me slowly.

I like writing, not stories, namely I like complaining, complaining in a completely sarcastic, fercicious and being a bit of a bitch. Did you know all the secondary schools near where I sed to live are being renamed 'learning centres' because school has negative connotations?

Well no shit. School has 'negative connotations' because Labour sucks. I know this sounds like the same old crap everyone says, but everyone else thinks they're the lesser of two evils! No, no, they're not. I'd rather have the lib dems in charge, for all I care they can sleep with as many rent boys as they want as long as I can go to school and not get stabbed/ shot/ raped/ murdered. Doesn't sound so difficult does it?

I think I shall run for prime minister one day, I shall invent a new party, the British Sex Party , you know you'd join.