I am the whiniest bitch you will ever have the misfortune to acquaint

I am apologizing before I go any further for any grammatical errors I may have since some of the I use I don't know off the top of my head and my spell check is taking a spontaneous vacation with out any notice ahead of time. I hate you spell check...
OH ANS I SHOPPED AT THE SAME STORE AMANDA PALMER BOUGHT HER JOHN FLUEVOG SHOES IN AND I GOT SOME TOO! Very excited about that and I think it is crucial for everyone to know.

Here's something cool to think about before I go on about how horrible my suburban life is:
Everything is an illusion, I got the following information from my friend on vampirefreaks:

"Stare at your own face long enough,
and youll suddenly realize its just another face.
The face in the mirror is, of course, yours.
But after a while, it wont feel like that anymore.
The face you see could be anybody's.
Most neuroscientists agree the same applies for your consciousness.
The thing you call your self is most likely an illusion, created by your brain.
Your brain gives you vision, sound, speech, feelings, and thoughts.
When you add all these things up,
youll have some overall feeling of awareness you call your consciousness.
But still, your brain is the thing running it.
Your feeling of self is best compared to a software program running.
It looks very real but it isnt.
Of course, most people believe there is something like a soul or a spirit living inside of you.
But when it comes down to facts,
there just isnt any evidence for that,
...... exit mundi."
Cloning_Souls

~You now have my permission to leave this journal entry~

Anyways, Christmas vacation is almost over and I'm bummed as hell! I don't think I'm ready to return back to school. It's a pain to get up in the morning knowing that all I have to look forward to for the day is seven hours of god damn school!

I've found that vacation is a great way to make yourself think you have a wonderful and flourishing social life. As soon a you get thrown back into it all you realize that you have a wonderful imagination and all you have a couple of friends who are either too busy to hang out, are a bitch, or really aren't much of a friend anyway... It's very pathetic!

And I have this friend who I thought was a good person, but whenever I talk to her she ruins my day by either telling me how some girl at school thinks I'm ugly and fat, but I have good hair and skin, or by telling my friends how much my Christmas tree cost! (I bought my tree at her family's farm). Ever since I moved to a bigger house since my dad got more money by selling his place of work (I forgot what word that was supposed to be) and now my friends treat me differently and SHE acts like I'm this piece of shit that always gets it my way! People don't even want to come to my house anymore!

I've been very lonely and I have made plans with friends and they were rather short lived and not as good as I thought they should have been, or they didn't happen because I am sick. I suppose I should put more effort into my drawing so I can become an art teacher in Boston like I planned and to get my mind off of being a pathetic suburban BRAT, but I'm no good at art either! It's what I live for and the last thing I've done that I liked was a painting I made this September... that's pretty bad as well!

Also, I feel like no one likes me and only mentally disabled people will love me because A. my mentally disabled sister looks up to me. B. the only person to ask me out was mentally disabled. C. this one kid went out of his way to pick up something I delibrately threw at someone and gave it back to me with this silly face! D. and the guy who likes my is irritating and he isn't mentally disabled but I don't like him at all so there. I hope that's all in my head though.

I'm very sorry I put this here, but I don't see my the(rapist) until the 21st and It's been bothering me since I don't know...