As Clueless as Any Other

Well hello there! I haven't written in quite a while. I really miss that.... I notice that when I write, I become more in touch with myself, my true self. You see, I've found that in the jumble of life's demands we get all caught up in the scheem ot things and sort of loose our selves for a while and we need something to come back to in order to find ourselves again. For me, it is writing. When I write, I feel my smartest, most creative and imaginative, and most insightful and I think that is my favorite state to be in (well, for the most part, tehe).
I can't really tell you why I'm writing thins; I guess I just struck a thought and had the urge to write something insightful. But....I think that's what we all need every once in a while. I haven't written in my diary for years, like, really written in it. The thing is, I like to write in my diary. It let's me reflect on good or bad times and let's me get unwanted emotions out without hurting myself. However, I usually hate going back and reading what I have written many months or even a year later. Things may have changed by then and maybe I don't feel the way I did as before or I get angry for being so naive or I feel as though I could have made a better decision and done better. It's not necissarily that I regret anything I do, I just don't like reading it again. It's quite difficult to explain.
I just wish I had more time.... more time to enjoy the little things. Well, I guess it's the little times you should take time for, not make time for if that makes any sense. I miss little things like sitting outside on a nice, warm day looking at flowers, just thinking and enjoying the serenity. I guess right now I just want things to slow down. I really liked this Winter Break with not having to worry about homework or tests or after school activities. But... all of that stuff is really who I am too. I like to learn though I despise the homework and I love the activites I do. I love the friends I have and see there so it all evens out, but if only there were more hours in a day....
Well, please excuse my excessive digression.