Trapped

I attempt an escape every single day. Whether it be to my mind, to friends, or just outside. I try my hardest to hide, or run away from this home, but i always end up coming back. Why do I do this to myself? Pretend that it will all be better once I return? Tell myself that maybe I was overreacting, maybe I was wrong, and we can talk. No. There is no chance of a discussion. There is a high chance of screaming. There is no chance of helping. No doubts of soon to come degredation. My home is my hell. I am stuck. Daydreaming and fantasizing can soothe the pain, but nothing can make it end.
I'm sorry to sound so depressed. Rough night.