This is getting riddiculous, it's been nearly a year. Okay, so it's been ten months since we split, but he is STILL filling my head. I still love him, even though he continues to treat me like I don't exist. I can't believe that after everything, all the hurt and humiliation, I still want him. It's getting less and less now, but there are still times when I suddenly want him to wrap his arms around me, and I want things to be how they were.
Maybe it's also because we were such good friends, maybe that's why it hurts so much. I wish he would just look in my direction and see what he used to see in me. It's pathetic, I know, I should just get over it, already. It was ten fucking months ago!
I love him so much that it makes it practically impossible to hate him. Soemtimes, I do get so angry I just want to scream, but that's mainly at the fact that he can't see what he's doing to me. I want him to know how I still feel. I tried to show him ages ago, and he pawned it off to one of his friends. It sold for about fifty pence, I think. God, that one hurt. And yet, I still can't bring myself to feel indifferent towards him. Does he go out of his way to torture me? Maybe I'm being a little to self-flattering. Maybe not. I don't know because he never talks to me. He's driving me out of my mind, and has been for the last year, when I met him.
I love him, I just wished he loved me enough to stop hurting me.
Out Of My Mind.
January 13th, 2009 at 05:53pm