So … about this Jackson again. He came to my house on Friday. I had to walk to the plaza to go get him, but I was so slow he had to wait there for about 10 minutes. We played Guitar Hero for a while, then he played Batman Lego with my little brother while mum and I made pancakes for lunch. My little brother, Tom, liked him a lot. Mum liked him, too. I like him. (:
After lunch, mum went upstairs to sleep, and we left tom to his Batman game. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking, walking so close to Juliet’s house. D: She could’ve seen us and gawd what an abusing we would have gotten. -_\\ It was so hot outside, I was practically melting and burning and combusting all at once. So we sat under a tree and watched a mother verbally abuse her kids at the park. Oh dear. Anyway, it was so fucking awkward, you could hear the ants thinking as they bit us. No one talked for about an hour. I lay on my stomach in the grass and felt my phone vibrate under my belly. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Jackson flicking his hair out of his eyes as I looked at the message. My palms farking sweated a river (ew) after I read that he wanted to kiss me. ‘Cause I’m such a dumb ass I thought about it for at least 40 minutes. Then when I sat up and told him okay, my heart was bloody smashing against my chest. ;_; And he kissed me and I laughed and pulled away. I thought my first kiss would kinda be … idk, I would actually kiss back? But no, I did not. I laughed and pulled back. I LAUGHED. I made it more awkward and embarrassed myself to the moon and back. At least a lady with extremely ugly tights walked past, she distracted the whole situation. But only for a minute. T_T We ended up just laying in the grass for another 30 minutes before walking back to my house.
When we got back, though, no one was home. Mum and Tom had gone to pick my sisters up from their camp thing … so we went in through the back door and sat on the sofa for about an hour. I was so tired and bored; I almost fell asleep on him. But anyway, dad came back with tom, ellie and emi after swapping mum over in our shop. So we went outside and sat on the purple wall to wait for his mum to come. We hardly spoke again. Jackson’s mum seemed pretty nice for that few seconds I talked to her, although his sister was kind of freaky and kept staring at me while biting her fluro pink nails. o_o
Okay, well it kind of gets worse. After he left, I went to work. I was pretty happy and stuff, mum (‘cause she’s my boss – yeah it can suck sometimes) commented that I was speaking louder than usual and was giving pretty good customer service. Then, Juliet, the bitch came in and was all ‘Ohh Josie! I was just walking past and had to see if you were in the shop, oh oh come out side with me!’ so … unfortunately ‘cause there was no customers, I went outside with her. And of course, what did she do? Went into a bitch fit about Jackson and how much of a dick face he is. In her big man hoe voice, she read out a message Jackson had sent her telling her never to talk to him again in the middle of the fucking street. I think she kind of did have a point though. Jackson did go from Cassie to me. But tbh Juliet should just shut her farking face. She was the one who broke up with Jackson in the first place.
After work I texted Jackson about the Cassie to me thing. We had a fight and then, because I really do like him, I ended it saying that it didn’t matter.
Then on Saturday, Jackson, Cass and I went to the movies to see Yes Man. Hahaha bloody good movie that is I tell ya. I dunno why Jackson came; it just made it more awkward. And when I say awkward I mean fucking awkward. As soon as me and cassie got to jackson, no one talked. At all. And of course, when we got into the cinema, no one would pick seats so I stormed into the closest row and threw myself down onto a chair. I wasn’t next to Cassie, which meant we couldn’t talk which meant that it was gonna be silent through out the whole movie (eheheh that was prolly a plus for the other people in the cinema). To make things worse, the wait-until-everyone-is-here-so-we-can-begin-the-movie music was making my brain bleed through my nose. ;_; Gah who wrote such horrible music …
After Yes Man was done and everyone was leaving, we all sat there like dead gazebos and looked at each other. Awkwardness = 120%. Eventually, cass stood up and shuffled out of the row of chairs, so jackson stood up and then I did. And when we got out of the row I almost fell on jackson because my legs felt like they were going to snap and send me down to kiss the floor. :( It was very embarrassing as the disabled people were laughing at me.
Anyway we left Jackson in the … upstairs area of the building and ran into the bathrooms, abusing each other about everything. Then when we came back out, we shut our faces and silently walked outside. I told Jackson that cassie and I were going to buy make-up, so we went different ways and the awkwardness vanished. ._.
The make-up shopping lasted for about 10 minutes, since everything was closing and I had no money ‘cause I bought cassie’s ticket. So we ended up walking through Myer and mocking everything hanging on the racks. Unfortunately, cassie spotted the bras and skipped over. I skipped over as well and knocked a massive frilly bra off of a rack. -_-
We then went to Charcoal Chicken (lol). And unfortunately, because jackson was asking where we were, I told him ‘cause I thought he was already getting picked up by his dad. Cassie poked her head out of the shop and looked around to see if he was coming. He wasn’t so we sat back down at the bench thing and began picking at the disgusting hot chips. I began chewing on the plastic fork, turned around and there he was bloody coming into the shop. D: He sat down next to me and cass and I stopped eating and talking. Fast forward the awkwardness and … da da da daaa: second kissing mistake for josie. It wasn’t really my fault, I don’t like people in my space that much … and I had my head down and he leaned in and just kissed me. I smiled again and pulled back. Fuck I feel sorry for the guy stacking the boxes behind the counter. He would’ve seen and everything. DDDD: Jackson left a few seconds after that I felt so sorry. If I could’ve farking put my head forward instead of backward gah. D:<
Anyway we had another fight afterwards. ._. Because I was reading cassie’s messages and there were ones from him saying they could … idk make out or something. –le sigh- That fight came to an end too when I asked if he wanted me or cassie and I told him how much it hurt me. Farking hell I can’t decide if he’s a dick head or if I like him. –sigh- No there’s more.
On Tuesday, I went to his house. He has a really nice house btw. It’s really big. We stayed in the rumpus room for a few hours, playing guitar hero and grand theft auto haha. It wasn’t awkward which was really good. :file: Then we went out to the shed and jackson put his water skiing stuffs into the boat. Blah blah blah we went out to the weir and put the boat in the water and I sat in the boat while jackson water-skied. Hahaha it was really fun believe it or not. But it was really hot. D; Until he came and threw himself down next to me and almost drenched me lol. His mum and dad are really nice haha they’re pretty funny too. Ahnn … well I guess that was prolly the first day I didn’t screw anything up. Tomorrow I’m going to his house again. And I’m kinda scared that something bad will happen. :s We’re gonna be alone in the house so he’ll prolly try to kiss me again lolol. And I prolly will screw that up again. DDD: But anyway … he’s really nice and I’m kinda glad I started talking to him. (:
goodnight.
x
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