I Only Dream of the Perfect Guy

It's rather difficult to classify who the "perfect guy" is.
In my head, though, he is:
-kind
-funny
-ambitious
-brave
-romantic
-sensitive
-considerate
-fun
-outgoing
-unique
-creative
-imaginative
-insightful
-easily amused
-attentive
-observant
-helpful
-good-spirited
-debateful
-owns a smoking pipe
-wears colorful boxers
-doesn't laugh when I'm not funny (instead, he'd say so or come up with something witty to make it less awkward)
-isn't afraid to sing or dance or cry or scream or say "Hey babe... nice shoes... wanna fuck?" or some other lame pick-up line
-open-minded
-won't wait for me to approach him
-will love me for who I am

But. If I met this guy, I'd run away, screaming (perhaps stealing his smoking pipe first).

In the end, it'd most likely end up as a dream or a cheesy, horror film or a hallucination.

I know there is no Perfect Guy in this world. Perfection is a harsh word to use on humans.
However... some of us say that Imperfection is Perfection.
Perfection is Imperfection.
Ugly is Beautiful.
Beautiful is Ugly.
Tomato tomato.

It really is in the eye of the beholder.
Or in the mind of the believer (or something like that).

Anyway
I lost my point.
My point is...
Perfect Guy, wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you are - if you're reading this... I dare you to step up and say: "Hey! I am your perfect guy! I'm everything you want me to be!"

Or don't, because like I said, I'd run away.
Why?
Because I know you're not real.
And let's keep it that way.