Keeping Myself

So since I put up my "Trapped" journal after another daily fight with my mother, a lot of my best friends asked me if my super happy self is jsut to counteract my home life. After thinking about that, I realize it's completely true. It's not that my happiness is fake, it's just that I have to be an eternal optimist just to balance out how unhappy I am at home. I mean my natural personality is happy, outgoing, friendly, and (hopefully) fun. It just seems that, especially recently, I beocme a different person once I'm home. I become almost, I don't know, shy? Secluded? Reserved? I haven't quite figured that out yet. I just know that as of now, ther's really nothing I can do about it. I suppose I'm doing the right thing by trying my absolute hardest to keep my true personality. I really don't want to lose and become constantly how i feel right now. Please, everyone who is involved in my life at this point, don't let my personality fade. Tell me immediately if i start acting odd around you. I really don't want to lose myself.