End of the Semester Rant // Some Things I Need to Get Off My Chest

Finals. That one word is enough to strike fear into the hearts of millions among millions of teenagers around the world- me especially. This coming week, my school is holding the finals for all of my classes. That means two exams per day. We may only have a two and a half day week, but it's still stressful as hell.

Tuesday, I have social studies and video productions. I'm not to worried about social studies because it's one of my best classes, but I do need to refresh about five months worth of material. Video is also an easier final, but even if I bomb the oral presentation, I'll still pass because the teacher loves me.

Wednesday I have math and science finals. Science will be easy because we didn't really do much and it'll be open book(because my class is full of shit heads) but I'm freaking over math because I'm horrible at geometry and my teacher can't teach to save his life.

Finally, Thursday I have English and marketing exams. Marketing is a job write up on your specific job at the school store and English is vocab. I'm also dreading the English exam because I have to study and memorize 112 words and will only be tested on 50.

As if finals aren't enough, my obnoxious cousin has started to come into town more often because she is now going to a school closer in town. She calls constantly and I can't handle her or that side of my family very well. As a matter of fact, I have to give up an entire day of studying to entertain my cousin this Saturday. They just don't understand how much I'm stressing over this.

Another thing, my ex best friend has been lurking on my online accounts lately. From what I gather, she's been checking my Myspace close to daily, reading my status. Everytime I post something there, she seems to find out immediatly. I found nasty comments on my new YouTube from her the other day, and flipped out about it on the private of my own bedroom. I hadn't even had the account for twelve hours and she finds it before I even have a chance to get home from school and block her! I know she only spreads things and says things to try and get a reaction, which she gets (although it's not publicized), but it still bugs me to the brink. And the fact that she has my other best friend doing drugs among other things is not cool either.

Lastly ( I promise!), certain friends have just been fucking pains in the ass lately! I don't see how some of them can just afford to screw off in school, especially during the week before finals. And there are just people who hang around me that have lately been purposfully bugging me for the fun of it and won't quit no matter what I say! And then there are the friends who don't do anything school related besides complain about it and how they are bogged down by it all. Well, maybe you should spend less time getting baked and trying to get sex out of a girl before you cold heartedly dump her and more time on studying!

God! I just hate being the "mother" of the group or one of the most mature ones because when it comes time for someone to take care of me, there is no one, and I feel like I self conciously make it so that is always true. I feel like I might end up spending the rest of my life alone. And that scares me more than anything else in the world right now; ending up with no one who cares. I hate to push people away, but it's a habit now.

Well, that's it. I feel stuck in an awkward / stressful position in just about every aspect of daily life. Honestly, I have respect for anyone that actually read this far into this entry. Anybody have advice, words of encouragement or some of the same problems? Leave me a comment because I could really use someone to talk things over with. It would make me less stressed to know I'm not the only one with these kind of issues right now!