Is it possible?

I have to wonder.
Is it possible to love someone that you hate?
I'm wondering this because of a kid I know.
I hate his smile, his laugh, his hair, his personality, but most of all his dead empty eyes.
They show no emotion, at all. I hate that.
They showed emotion once, when he kissed me by the water machine at school.
And oh, How I love him. But I hate him too.
He hurt me, lied to me.
He angered me, just to see how I reacted and, and I quote him, 'To get to know you better.'
His laugh makes me want to kill something.
But at the same time, it makes me smile, because he's 'happy.'
I want to snatch him up and pull him close to me,
But I can't.
He moved away a few months back.
And I let him go, without ever telling him.
I should have.
It wouldn't have helped.
He needed to go.
I wouldn't try to hold him back.
I love him,
He couldn't care or less.
And I have never felt so empty.
Just knowing I won't see him in the mornings hurts.
Like Hell.
I fucking adore him.
He is the sun, the moon, the stars, the clouds, and the very fucking sky.
But I hate him.
He took me away from me, made me something else.
Before I met him, I hardly cried.
He made me cry, in public, the third day I knew him.
I don't think I ever really understood what it was like to want something so bad, and to never get it.
I want him.
I want him here, with me, now.
I want him to smile, and hold me.
But I will never have it.
I love him.
I hate him.
I want him.
I want him dead.
I can't make up my mind.
I feel a poem coming on. xD
Right now.
I really just want him.
And this is bad.
Because I have a boyfriend.
The sweetest most adorable thing ever too.
I owe my ipod to my boyfriend.
And right now...
Seize the Day totally is how I feel about Him.
His name is Zac.
Haha.
I know.
Zac.
Z-A-C..
Short for Zachary.
And It just occured to me that I'ma be copying this into my myspace and shouldn't have typed that.
but Ya'know.
I don't care anymore.
I don't care if, on the off-chance, he does read it.
I fucking love him.
And I fucking hate him.
I'm so contradicting, especially since he left.
I was a wreck the first 2 weeks...
I didn't want to get up.
I didn't want to go to sleep.
I didn't want to go to school.
And the whole time I felt so fucking guilty.
Because I have Ryan.
I L-O-V-E my Ry.
But...
Then there's Zac.
I so need to get myself together.
I'm contradicting myself.
And I really want to know.
Is It really possible to Hate someone you love?
Or love someone you hate?