FREAK

The way I look on the outside is greatly different from what I am hiding on the inside. I may look happy on the outside, I may smile, I may laugh. But inside I’m breaking apart, piece by piece. Most of my time I spend by myself, blankly staring into the air as if waiting for something to happen, for someone to say ‘Hello’ or ‘What’s up?’ but nothing ever happens. I have no close friends to realize that something is wrong, no one asks ‘are you ok?’ or ‘is something bothering you?’ when I would surely try to comfort my friends when I sense the slightest change in their attitude or personality.

The people I thought I could trust have betrayed me, the people I thought were my friends have turned their back on me. I feel alone and have no one to comfort me (but my horses of course.) Every day I hope that something will change, that I’ll gain needed friendship with someone, but I’m beginning to lose hope that that day is coming. I just want to be accepted. Which is usually the last thing on my mind because I’ve always told myself that all I need is my horses. And that what other people think of me is their problem and I just smile and wave at everyone and I always try to be nice to EVERYONE. But I don’t know what’s wrong with me…I’m no different than anyone else! Is it my odd obsession with horses? It’s no different than any other obsession! It you really love…um…football, it would be perfectly normal for you to put up football posters everywhere in your room. To buy football shirts and hats, and everything that you can get your hands on that is associated with football.

So lets put together a scenario, there are two people: one is OBSESSED with horses; the other is OBSESSED with football. Both have their walls decorated with posters, their shelves lined with statues. If it has to do with his/her obsession, his/her has it.

So these two people have the same friend, who doesn’t like either horses or football. So that friend goes to the football-crazy person’s house. Then goes to the horse-crazy person’s house. So tell me, which is a freak? In truth they are no different, they just like different things. But the horse-crazy person is the freak? Why? I don’t understand. I have a friend that is obsessed with Swim Team and everything swimming-like. And no one thinks she is weird…WTF?!?!?! Then when I ask people the difference between her and me, they just say ‘it’s just different’. NEWS FLASH, IT’S NO DIFFERENT WHAT SO EVER!!!!! I’m sick of it!!!!!! I’m sick of being the freak, I’m sick of being treated differently!!! Everyone has their likes and interests, mine is horses!! So you tell me, is there something wrong with that???
There is NO difference, and don’t you dare try to tell me there is. I start to think about the whole deal with ‘crazy cat ladies’ and I got to thinking, is there anything wrong with them?? NO. Their obsessed with cats, just like some people are crazy about dogs, or any other thing they can collect!!
So think before you open your mouth and accuse people of being ‘weird’ or being ‘freaks’. Chances are you could be one too if you like something…