I've been a fan for almost three years. I think the fist song I heard was, 'Pretending' when I was like nine or ten and my Dad was watching an old Canadian music station called Much Music. He didn't like it but I kind of did and I thought the singer was a girl with a very beautiful voice. lol I never really knew the band after that than I kept seeing the Heartagram and it fascinated me, I was raised Wiccan and with a love for Pentagrams and Hearts I thought it was amazing. Than when I learned the pentagram part was suppose to be evil I got kind of upset and didn't want to know the music.
Than when I was fourteen I was in a music store with twenty bucks burning my pocket and I wanted to try a new band, I only listened to classic rock bands before than because I thought all recent music was crap. 'Dark Light''s cover caught me eye, I thought even if the sign plays on the misconception of the pentagram it was still beautiful and it spoke to me, I was going through a stage where I wanted a band to call my own and something happened when I picked it up and looked at the song titles. They spoke to me like the Heartagram did. So I rosked it and brought it and I listened it it on my cd player on the way home. It was dark outside and the road was winding and going through the woods and I was facing my worse depression of that year and the music just did something for me that no other had done before.
I wasn't sure about Ville's voice, I thought it was amazing but it was so different I had to really think about it before I realized that I liked it because he was actually singing not just whining or screaming off key as I had assumed any rock band after 98' had done. lol It awoken me to listen to all kinds of new forms of music.
I listened to the album over and over again, a week or so later I begged my parents for money so I could but Love Metal. I was almost scared to find out anything about the band or it's members because I was scared that they would be stupid and fake and it would destroy the music for me. So I brought Love Metal and flipped through the booklet, I hadn't looked at the Dark Light one before than ether. I loved the hand writing of the lyrics and did not know that they were Ville's, when I saw the black and brown picture of him I had a chilled feeling. I than went on my computer and started my obsession with the band and Ville. The more I learned about them the more I loved them.
Soon I had all the CDs and I knew all the lyrics and I was completely in love with the idea of Ville Valo, I still am to this day.
I have never been truly loved by someone outside my family and I've never had a real boyfriend, I suffer from manic depression and bipolar disorder and the happiest moments of my life were when I saw them live with my two ex best friends who have recently abandoned me. I don;t really understand that much about being in live but I know everything about being alone. I keep losing friends, I'm painfully aching for affection and love and the only thing keeping me together and hopping is HIM's music. I believe that I will someday meet my own Ville Valo and I won't be as lonely anymore.
The music has helped me beyond words, it's kept me for killing myself, it makes me calm down when I feel like I am losing my mind. It's the most amazing drug I've ever taken and It ever fails me.
Ville also gives me strength to be who I am and to not be arfaid to be too talented or too beautiful. To not care what the fuck other people think because someone put there will love me for who I am. I have his pictures of my walls to remind to never stop being myself, tp not give up on love and to keeping hopping and living even if it's just so I can someday tell Ville and the band that they saved my life and my insanity and they contuinte to help me face everyday with a sad smile and a dreamer's hopes.
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