Painful Temptations

Okay, so maybe I should do I poem about this because I can easily go into a poetic moood and display the following in a poetic manner, but I would rather it been a journal, not a poem. Now, on subject - have you ever felt an undying, painful temptation burning within your stomach? Like you are deeply tempted to do something, but you are afraid of the results?

Sigh, here I go with my sad, depressing life stories again. I am at a point in my life where I don't want to die without doing certain things that only happen in my fantasies right now. The thing is, people call me an idiot for living in my fantasy words 24/7 , but I'm there because I feel like this world just isn't letting my fufil my goals, and I therefore revert to my own world where my goals and desires can be fufiled. I'm sick of life teasing me all the time and going slowly for what I desire. Why can't it just give me what I need in my life? I mean, I pretty much stopped watching TV and I isolate myself from society because I hate seeing couples in love. It makes me feel like I'm all empty inside and being stabbed n the heart when I see people happy like that, so I isolate myself to stop me trying to break people up. Yes, I have that as my dark, evil little bad habit because I want others to feel the pain of lonliness.

EDIT: This journal no longer matters, as what I spoke of HAS been fufiled and the thing I spoke of, they are fine now.