Cheating.... :(

I'm a bad bad person. I cheated on my bf. And it's just so hard not to when the other guy has such nice eyes and he's so fun to be around. I try not to, but he's just so wow. My bf and I have a long distance relationship so that makes it so much easier to just cheat. And it makes it harder to stop when I don't see him and I don't get to talk to him. I'm not some little girl that is just writing for help. I'm writing to let my frustration with myself out. I know I'm so stupid, especially when my bf is pretty much the greatest guy I will ever meet. I just love having a good time and being able to be single and do whatever I want. So right now we are planning to go out this weekend, I'm debating just staying home, drinking would not be good. And yes I am legal here where I live. 18 is our legal age to do whatever. lol yay me!! :D Anyway, it sucks cause I loved being single for the time me and my bf weren't together last year and that's how I met the other guy. But now it's like I want my cake and eat it too. Have a great relationship that is a serious relationship, or be single have fun and pretty much never find someone as good as my bf. I know it seems like the easiest thing, but you try being in my position. bleh. Anyway, I'm stupid, I'm a moron, I know. It wouldn't be hard if I could see my bf and actually have a relationship with him. I guess I'm just lonely and want someone there to hang out with as more than a friend, no matter how dumb a mistake that is. I told my bf that I had kissed another guy, he forgave me, but I don't plan on telling him that I've continued kissing him.... Just hit me on the head and call me an idiotic moron. :/