How do you explain to someone how you feel? Especially when they don't feel the same. Everytime i see him, i just want to cry. How does one recover from a broken heart? You love him for so long and then it just gets ripped away from you..and since you've surrounded your whole life around that person, you feel that there is no life left to live..how is it that through heartbreak, you lose half of your friends because they go after the guy you're madly in love with? how do you cope with losing so many things. What do you do when you're so attached to his family, and they love you more than he does at this point. How did he live with me in his life for so long, and then just move on expecting to leave off with the next person from where he was with me? How come I have a million questions that can never be answered? Why is it in a mans nature to leave a woman? Why is it that as worthless as he is, i know i must be the one thing even more worthless because he left me and not the other way around? Why can't i be strong like him and just move on as if nothing ever happened? why is it that i can't be with anyone, but he can be with my best friend if he wanted to? how does he life with himself? i don't understand any of it anymore...it just hurts..can anyone answer my questions? cuz i can't anymore..
ANWERS!
Alright, so this might take a little bit to read, but i need critiques. I plan to work with Modivational Speaking to young teens. One of the subjects i chose was heartbreak, and i figured this would be a good exercise. It is linked to my past note, "Questions from my heart" So I would really appreciate it if you could take some time to look at it and critique mee!! Thanks so much!!! :)
1.) How do you explain to someone how you feel? Especially when they don't feel the same. Everytime i see him, i just want to cry.
Simple...explain how it is. You have to be straight forward with people. Especially guys. You can't wait around for them. Chances are, he won't be the one to make the move. You have to be strong, mainly when you don't want to be. Crying is most likely a complete waste of bodily fluids. It will be like complete Deja Vu. He will be everywhere you look. But you have to think of the bad things from the relationship/past times...because they help you to not dwell so much on what you THOUGHT was perfect. If things have gone badly between you and that person, then all you can do is try. Don't try to jump into a relationship right away. Try to be friends, try to gain trust from that person. If they decide to ignore or reject you, and to not even be friends, then at least in the end, you can't say you didn't try.
2.)How does one recover from a broken heart? You love him for so long and then it just gets ripped away from you..and since you've surrounded your whole life around that person, you feel that there is no life left to live..
Yes, you feel like the world is just ENDING! Like someone just ripped your soul right out of you. You feel lifeless. You know that you used to not be able to sleep at night because all your dreams had become reality. You would wake up every morning, because there was someone to wake up for. And now you can't fall asleep at night because your dreams are no longer reality, and in the morning you can't wake up because there is no one to look foward to seeing. There is no one to get all dolled up for in the morning and no one that you can go to school and make all your friends jealous with because they wish they had what you do. There is nothing that can truly FIX a broken heart. That person will hold a peice of you forever, it's unforgetable. Because even if you had a butt as perfectly shaped as a tomato, even retail therapy can't fix your broken heart.
3.)How is it that through heartbreak, you lose half of your friends because they go after the guy you're madly in love with?
Yeah, this is definitely gonna happen. Girls will go chasing after the guy you're madly in love with...but not because they like HIM. They like what YOU had with him. They like the compatability between you and that person and they wished it for themselves. Although some of your friends run off after that guy, and they leave you in the dust, to shove it in your face that they got what you WISH you still had..heartbreak leads you to your true friends. The ones that don't run off, and stand by your side are the ones that are always going to be there. A girl could be your "best friend", but then once you and your bf break up, she runs off and jumps into YOUR territory and takes away any chance left for you and him..And nonetheless, she shoves it in your face that she won. Well, all you can do is laugh...because in the end, neither you or her will end up with that guy and his sorry butt will end up alone wishing he had never given you up.
4.)How do you cope with losing so many things?
You learn to cope. It's insanely hard at first, and you want to just fall over and die. Or at least fall asleep until Prince Charming comes and wakes you with a magical kiss..blah blah BLAH! But believe it or not, you're still breathing. And what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. When that one door closes, two more open. And for every door that closes, double the doors will open. It's far easier said than done, of course...but you can make it through. Don't act miserable. Live your normal life, don't let him effect it. Make it as though you've lost nothing, and only gained. And he will soon realize what he's lost. Then maybe he'll be the one on his hands and knees begging you to come back. Because it wasn't you who left, it was him, and he will realize it. If you ignore, and treat him as though he IS just another face in the hall, then he will soon become that.
5.)What do you do when you're so attached to his family, and they love you more than he does at this point?
Family attachments are one of the worst parts of break ups! Honestly, they are sooo involved. Whether they want to be or not. If you think you're worried about family issues in that, just IMAGINE how he must feel. He's probably thinking, "oh god, her family must hate me now." That it the LAST thing you want. And even though he's hurt you badly, it does no good to talk badly about him to your family. Because if the day comes that you do end up together again, your family won't approve because they will only know of his mistakes. Carrying things out never helps! It only keeps him away. And talking badly about him won't help because you know in your heart that you loved and cared for that person with all your heart at one point, and you can't erase history. Whats done is done.
6.)How did he live with me in his life for so long, and then just move on expecting to leave off with the next person from where he was with me?
Alright, so typically, guys are far more immature than girls. I guess it depends on the situation. But a guy isn't emotionally THERE. Guys are like day and night. They can love you one minute and then wake up the next morning madly in love with someone else. You never knoe what to expect. I mean, us girls have our fair share of signals, thats fair enough, but come on! Girls are so solid on relationships, most of the time. But a guy just has to play the feild. It's just in his nature. He walks onto the feild and has to stop every 10 yards to see what he gets at the goal line. He had it so great with you, that he doesn't want you, but he wants what you two had. He thinks that because he had it with you that he can have it with anyone else...well boy is he in for a surprise!!
7.)How come I have a million questions that can never be answered?
Not one question has one solid answer. There are obsticals and mazes and all sorts of things you have to go through to find the truth. You can't live your life as an idealist. You must look at what you have and see it for what it is. You have to be a realist. Life is never completely fair. You have to be greatful for what you've got.
8.)Why is it in a mans nature to leave a woman?
Every 'man' on Earth are in "the girl of the week club" at least once in their life. Men have to see if there's anything out there better than what they have. Half the time it's not even that they're unhappy with the relationship. They're just so amazed at how amazing what they have is, that they want to find more. A real man wouldn't leave you for some skinny heffa in a spandex uniform. Quite frankly a guy like that wouldn't make a wart on a man's ay-double scribble!-thanks for that last line Nani:)
9.)Why is it that as worthless as he is, i know i must be the one thing even more worthless because he left me and not the other way around?
YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS! I cannot stress this enough! HE left YOU. No regrets. You tried to make things worse. You tried to make a better compromise. You wanted him happy, so you let him go. That doesn't make it your fault that he left. Unless you cheated or something outrageous, then there is no excuse. It's not your fault. You feel worthless, and you call him worthless, because you're trying to not feel as horrible as you do. But it's going to happen. Every realtionship faces a time when the two people have to decide whether they want to go through with it or not. And if he's blind enough to not see whats standing right in front of him, then he's gotta be off of your list. You have to make him realize that you are strong and that you have made it through, but at the same time, you can never let him forget the pain he has caused you.
10.)Why can't i be strong like him and just move on as if nothing ever happened?
Guys are such hard A's that they have the need to seem tough, even if they're ready to break. They really don't get over things fast, thats why they tend to carry things out. Guys act tough to block out the pain and guilt they feel. They claim that the last thing they want is to hurt you...so why are they hurting you?!?!? see...not every question can be answered. Guys are unpredictable. He ignores because it thrills him when you can't take your eyes off of him. But when you're looking at another guy, and treat him as though he's invisible, then he begins to care. He might not want you, but he doesn't want anyone else to have you either. Karma.
11.)Why is it that i can't be with anyone, but he can be with my best friend if he wanted to?
Well...clearly if he's getting with your best friend...then she's definitely NOT your best friend. GIRL CODE!!! But the thing is, you can be with someone. You just don't want to right off the bat. All you can think to do is try to get him back. And since you're single, a million guys will come flying in at you. And no matter how many come along, you wont want anyone but him for the longest time. And eventually it will hit you like a ton of bricks that he is not coming back, and you will be able to move on. It will cut like a knife, but you're still breathing, and you're gonna make it. You have something else greater to look foward to and this is only something you'll learn from. It will only lead to success in future relationships. You can be with someone, just be careful to not jump into another relationship too fast. Allow yourself ime to heal from how hurt you are. Worry about rivalry with your ex later ;-)
12.)How does he live with himself?
Truth is, he doesn't even REALIZE how much he's hurt you. It's not like he TRIED to hurt you. He's probably trying to figure out why he's done it. But he won't go back, what's done is done. As awful as it is to hear, it's over, and he's gone. He lives because of what he has to look foward to. He is able to see passed his mistakes and move foward to make better decisions. He's in the process of maturing. So he'll only learn to make things better in his next relationship. Either that, or you'll have sucked all of the love out of him, that he realizes how lifeless he is without you..and by the time he comes back, you're gone. Some girls act so strong and hateful towards their ex's that he won't come back because of how much he thinks she hates him. It's all about making the right move, every second.
Because of the effect that these so called 'men' have on women...there have been acts of suicide/attempts, obesity, anorexia, depression, and more. There are so many things that heartbreak can do to you. And no, i'm not blaming eating disorders on men, im just saying that women get so worked up over heartbreak that they either become emotional eaters or starvers. Be one less woman that is so highly effected by heart break. No man should have to power to ruin the amazing person that you are! Don't forget it.
Look at me...i previously had all of these questions, and now i'm answering them myself! It's so good to realize that I didn't literally fall over and die. I sat and dwelled, but you can move on! You can make it out alive!! lol! God holds a brighter future for me and every other girl that gets her heart broken! Guys too! You have to find a few bad fish in order to find the right one. You will never forget these people because they will only lead you to the one that God has kept for you.
I mainly did this for my own sake, but I really do help that it can help other girls like me.
Plus, it's an excercise I did to work on my motivational speaking with i plan my career to be:) so yeahhh. critique pleaseeee!!! Thanks everyone!!
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