Moving On

Moving On
Alright guys, so I haven't written in forever..but I feel the inspiration right now. Perhaps it's because I'm listening to Secondhand Serenade..they always make me depressed..in a way that inspires me. Haha..so anyways..to the point of my writing. I have really been going through a lot lately..so I decided to write about moving on. Moving on as far as everything. Not just some boyfriend/girlfriend you had that broke your heart..but just life in general. The way things happen. You just have to take life as it comes to you, and make the best of it. So onto the writing/journal/whateveryoucallit. haha. I hope everyone can use this to help their own lives in one way or another..so here goes..lol..

Alright, so..life. Where do I begin? Life for me has been so adventurous in the past few months. Let's just say it's been about hmm...5 months! wow! lol. Well..it's been rough..no doubt. But I've made it through and found things are not as bad as I made them out to be. After so much heart break, I never thought I'd move on..and well..here I am. And it feels so good to be free! I am an entirely new and different person than I was 5 months ago. I'm not wrapped around one person..and I actually have time to follow my own ambitions. I've started horseback riding again, and I'm getting into all of this writing! It's fantastic! I love it. So that's just a background from where this journal thing is coming from..lol.

Anywho..back to the main subject(yet agian. Gosh! I must have ADD or something lol.)
At first..for me..things were confusing. All I wanted to do was jump into a relationship. I just wanted someone to be there to hold me. Someone to wake up for in the morning. But I wasted so much time. I just went and found all the wrong guys. And after so many mistakes..I don't know if I'm good enough for the guy who is actually right for me. The one guy that makes my heart jump when i see his number in my inbox. So cliche, I know. But when you haven't felt butterflies for so long..and you feel them once again, you just know that you want to be with that person. No matter what you have to fight through. And this one..he's somethin else..he's so indescribable. And yeah..they're all "indescribable." And that's what every girl says about the guy they like..but it's so different for me. Every memory of heart break just disappears when I'm talking to him. Has anyone else felt like this before? Cuz I swear, it's incredible..

Okay, enough of the cliche crap about how amazing this guy is. My point is that..everyone goes through heart break. Whether it's at age 13 or 35. No one wants to be alone, and no matter how much you miss that person..you have to realize that they were the one to leave you..and they are your past because they weren't right for your future. You have to realize that there is a brighter plan for you. And you can find someone so incredible, that you don't even care about the one who hurt you most anymore. This feeling is so indescribable...and I know I'm saying that word a lot...but it's the only word I can think of to describe how I feel(hah punny..). This is just a chance for me to get it all out. To express how things have changed for me. After months of tears, I've found that bright light again. And it's shining for me. I want to have that happiness so badly. I just want to reach out and grab it..and hold onto it forever..

Gosh, I just realized how out of order all of this is compared to my past writings. I am pretty much just babbling right now. But I'm hoping that someone out there who is feeling the way I was about two months ago, will learn something from the happiness I am reaching. I hate the fact that I wasted so much time trying to get him back, or to even be his friend. He's the one who wanted to make every memory disappear..so I just had to move on. Not just from being so madly in love with the guy, but from everything we had. The relationship with his family..and the general attachment to just being wrapped around his finger. The dumb pointless things like fights over a lunch from McDonalds that my mother brought me. And just the dumb things that made life so difficult.

If you are with someone, and you have doubt about the way things are going, then why be in the relationship? If you keep on going through so much with that person, it's only going to hurt worse once the fighting builds up and the relationship comes to an end. And don't think that it won't end, because it will. If fights are pointless and there's no real reason for the fight, then stop! You're only hurting each other. Of course, NO RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT! There will always be the stupid girl who tries to steal your boyfriend from you..and there will always be the guy who's eyes pop at your girlfriends beauty as she walks by. But you have to look at the fact that you're with that person..and no one can take that away unless you give them the power to. Now that I look back at all of the things that were wrong, I realize that it should have ended much sooner. And when you care about someone so much, every flaw disappears. And now that I can see the flaws, I know that I would never go back. And that's something that I must promise myself.

So then..you break up..and you're miserable..and then one day, this incredible person walks into your life..and the heart break disappears. They're everything you should have..and everything you want. So why not fight for it? Sure..if things don't work out..and he rejects you..sure, you'll be a little crushed..but you'll move on much faster than you did on a 6 month relationship. So go for it. You have to take risks. If you take them, history builds. and the person who broke you, will become further in the past. So don't waste your time with the wrong person. Take a risk and try something new. If you don't, then you'll never know who's truly right for you..

Okay guys..I know that this one is TOTALLY WACKED! But my mind is everywhere right now..so I can't think too well. I told you, it must be ADD. haha. Anyways, I think I'll be writing again shortly. Hope this was at least a laugh and a half for someone. lol. Adios amigos! :)
<3 Kat