writing writing writing just for the sake of writing.
too much to write and too much time but too much laziness is whats stopping me from doing what would make sense.
ive decided. fuck that shit. i dont even need to "fall in love." fall into some stupid highschool shit. are you kidding me? i dont know why this whole time ive been looking for and hoping for LOVE? hello, earth to fucking me, im sixteen. what in the name of sam hill do i need LOVE for? i dont need anything to make me more confused and undecided about life than i already am. honestly, what have i been longing for all this time? some awkward ass dates and silly "love" notes. extra drama of
"why isnt he answering my calls?"
"omg i saw your talking to some girl"
"this girl left a comment on one of his pictures on myspace! OHMAHGAWD."
seriously? thats some immature shit. i think im beginning to get the notion that i could pass all that up. i really dont need that. sure its nice to get roses on valentines or something but i only want that for show. purely for the highschool image that i know is completely ridiculous but i cant seem to shake. ive wasted so much time dreaming and wishing for something that was retarded to begin with. ah goodness. ive been so caught up in the image and the couples i see at school and stupid romance movies and stories and for what? why? the relationships at school and most definitely not what they seem. those romance movies are MOVIES. created from some idea of something real but altered to attract audiences.
theres no magic, no fireworks, no perfect kiss. i dont believe in love. not love love. not right now. basically, i think its a load of shit. i dont even know if that exists in the "grown up" world. the closest thing ive seen to real "love" (what ever it is) is in The Notebook.
Damn, ive been rambling and rambling...but yeah.
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