What it goes down to.

I'm feeling a little bit better since yesterday. I don't know what it is. I think the problem is I have no control over my life anymore. And I don't seem to be making it any better. I hate the constant emotional turmoil that happens up here, in my head you know. It scares me a little because sometimes it's too much for me. I know he thinks it's him, but it's not. I mean at times before I used to think that's all I was good for, but not so much now. I think I just get frustrated with myself because I'm not living the perfect little life my parents expect me to and at the same time I kind of tore my old morals and aspirations apart. Is it okay to change stuff like that? I don't think it was for the best either, but I'm okay with the choices I made and how I'm changing. I just sometimes wish there was space for me to do the things I want and not feel so bad.