Oh, your father is abusive? Don't let it affect your school work.

That's what my guidance counselor told me. That pissed me off. I don't live with my dad. I never got a lot of the physical abuse, verbal abuse, sure, but he never really beat me. I have witnessed him physically abuse my step mom and my brothers and sister, though. Anyway, I go on this whole rant to my guidance counselor and she tells me that I can't let this affect my school work. Because of course that would be a problem.

The last time I saw my dad was June 14, 2008. The last time I talked to him on the phone was sometime before that. On Thanksgiving, I was beginning to get very anxious. He always called on holidays. He didn't call. I cried. I didn't want to cry; he's not worth getting so upset over. I cried, though. My mom felt horrible. I decided to write him a letter about how mad I was that he didn't call. I didn't want to get into the bigger issues yet. I was surprised when he e-mailed me back the same night I sent it. I wasn't pleased with his response. He said he was sorry and that someday he would explain. Explain what? Is there a good explanation for being a crappy parent? That's the last I heard from him. He didn't call Christmas.

I still have not heard from him. A couple weeks ago I sent him another e-mail. It was two pages typed on Microsoft Word. This time I went into the bigger issues. I was surprised when everything I was feeling came down to two typed pages. He hasn't responded. I'm afraid he is done with me. I've now told him how I feel and maybe he doesn't want to face me. I don't know. I don't care about him, but not seeing my siblings is quite upsetting. Especially since the last time I saw my sister she told me all sorts of horrible things about life with my father.

Anyway, I'm very stressed out. I was hoping I would feel better and begin to come to terms with everything after I sent the letter, but instead I am freaking out. I wish he had written me back, at least I would know if he got it. I just really want to know his reaction. But I guess there is nothing I can do.