what is going on?

The last few months have been crazy strange. things just keep getting worse and worse. just when i think im about to end it all, i stopped. the thing that made me stop was so minuet and un-important. i guess it was my mind trying to find the last piece of hope to hold onto.or maybe not, who knows. all i know is im still here and things are still really messed up. now im losing my mind. i keep doing all these impulsive things, like today i sent my friend flowers. the card said "happy birthday" but its not her birthday and at the time i thought it would be the funniest thing in the world to do. but now that it actually happened i feel so stupid. my friend thinks im crazy and i owe my grandma $26.50 because i had to use her credit card.what made me do that? god. i wish i knew what was wrong with me