lonely with you?

You've asked me to come over, to see you for a short while.
I've agreed.
I was driving towards my residence that i cannot, in good conscience, call home.
Strife never makes a home...
I'm still thinking about them. Can't stop thinking about even the slightest brush with danger. I crave it... I'm still daydreaming about what could have happened. Three or four men high on Friday and drugs and alcohol following a young woman usually will never end prettily.
Who desires 'pretty', though? You bland, mundane humans that have been trained to obey your petty governments and only secretly hear, secretly touch, secretly gaze upon true exhilaration with the darkest lust?
They did follow me.
I was afraid, yes.
But nothing happened. Nothing ever happens.
So I'll stop thinking about it.
I'm pulling into your driveway.
You're standing outside, your arms crossed.
I think, amazing.
This beautiful, strong young man actually enjoys my company.
Amazing...
I turn off the car and unbuckle. You walk around the car, peering at it with cautious eyes. Suddenly feeling alone or afraid or something along those lines, feeling that again, I move to you and twine my arms around your neck.
“You ok?” you ask softly, returning my touch for a few moments, then pulling away.
I just nod. I don't have words, for once. Just please hold me for once, love...
Time passes... you're showing me your skill with a sword. Your silent movements are so superb, your flickering blade so graceful. You're confident. You move like a big cat, tense and wild and uncontrollable, yet self-contained. You're a paradox in a bottle. What if the bottle broke?
I'm jealous.
I voice my jealousy just to hear your quiet, sarcastic laugh.
I love hearing your voice... It's smooth, just a little gravelly and carries your feelings well. When you're being sarcastic, it lilts in the most beautiful way and i long to play it back like a recording... again and again and again...
Keep talking.
Keep moving.
Keep being alive, just so I can watch you
and be
silently
alone.
Alone in my crowded thoughts, my unsilent mind, my wandering soul, my darkest hearts, my deepest intentions... Leave me alone, love. Leave me alone.