We all make mistakes right? So why do I feel like I'm paying double for mine?

I don't know I suppose.
It feels that way even if it's not.

I have made mistakes. Serious ones.
But I am human.
And to err is human, isn't it?

I feel like my parents' accident is what I've had to pay for not being there quick enough for my little brother, and I don't think it's fair. I didn't mean to not be there. I didn't understand, surely I didn't deserve to lose the other people I loved most for something like that?

And with Alice, it was a mistake, a completely beautiful one that I regret in a hundred ways, but that I would never ever change. We made the mistake together, than fate messed it up royally and it seemed a nightmare, especially when she and I chose the hard way. But now, I would never give up the result of that in a billion years, because I love my baby girl, my Mia.

And through this, I still feel sometimes, that I'm paying more than I deserve to for mistakes I couldn't help. Does anyone know what I mean?