My Dog Smells Like Gumdrops, Among Other Things....

The title really has nothing to do with this journal. I just didn't know what it should be, so I picked something that is random AND true at the same time.

So... where to start? I'm not sure, I have nothing really to say, I'm just writing this because I was just staring at the computer screen blankly, wondering what I should do, so I thought writing something would might be productive or something....

So here I am, with nothing to say.

Well, we should start somewhere and just go from there, no?

So.... I've really been thinking. I'd like to write an Original Fic. The only reason Why I only write fan-fic is because when I first got a quizilla, I was....10, or something? Well, like most ten- year-olds, I wasn't a very good writer. And like most ten-year-olds, I was oblivious to slash and gay things and such, so when I read my first fan-fiction, I thought to myself, "Well, I suck at writing, but maybe I just suck at writing about unreal people. I probably could write fan-fiction."

I thought that, but didn't give it a try until I was eleven, when I knew about frerard and such, that i actually wrote something. My friend, Crystal, told me that I shouldn't be afraid of fucking up and just write something. She has a mibba now, but I can't remember her user name.

Yeah, so I wrote a few fan-fictions there, moved to Mibba, and I continue to write fan-fictions because I think that I can't write original fiction.

Which is wrong, because ten-year-old, quizilla Carmen can't write original fiction. But (this happens all the time, I swear!) once I think that i can't do something, I can never do it. I just get into this mindset and never try to do it again. But I know that I can write original fiction.

I know this because I am a freak, and before I go to bed (I think it's the main reason I have insomnia) I just think up characters and put them in different situations and just go with it. I'm making ORIGINAL STORIES and I don't even notice it. I do this for a few hours, then I finally fall asleep, only to wake up a few hours later, find that I can't fall back asleep, and do it again. Then I wake up again, etc. etc. (I'm not gonna whine about how I can't sleep. That would be off-topic and for a another journal...or something)

But, yeah. I just noticed this, I dunno.... around a few months ago, I noticed that just making up stories is pretty much second-nature to me, and I could write an original fiction if I really wanted to.

So here I am. Wanting to write an original fiction, but I'm not going to. I'm not going to for the same reason I'm not gonna start another story. I have too many stories on my hands already, not a lot of inspiration to write them, I have writers block for long periods of time, two stories that haven't been updated in a year, a few in months, and another story would just be too overwhelming, and I feel I would neglect it also, which I know I will.

And that, my friends, is a run-on sentence. Don't use them. It's bad grammar.

So, what do I do now? I could always just start writing it, but I've tried that with another story, and I wrote the prologue to it and haven't touched for a month. And I'm afraid that if I get into writing it I'll neglect my other stories even more.

Ah, excuses, excuses!

I am so annoying....

Well, do I have anything else to say? I don't think so...

Shit I'm screwed! Sorry I'm thinking out loud. Gah, I better check to see the deadline of that contest.... I haven't even started writing.... *panics*